


My Youth Is Yours

by Ellectrix



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Childhood Trauma, Consensual Underage Sex, Developing Friendships, Drunken Kissing, Drunken Shenanigans, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Family Issues, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Friendship, Heavy Angst, Heavy Swearing, High School, Horny Teenagers, Humans, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecurity, Interspecies Relationship(s), Kinks, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Partying, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Sadstuck, Slow Burn, Students, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Teen Years, Teenage Drama, Trolls, Trolls on Earth, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Xenophilia, davekat - Freeform, drunk makeouts, johnvris, quadrants, rosemary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-04 04:49:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10983705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellectrix/pseuds/Ellectrix
Summary: Yes, you hate him with a goddamn passion, but you can't deny it; he looks fuckable. And under kismesistude, that's what makes for a good soul mate in rivalry. Hell, this pursuit for ruining his reputation is a very black thing to do.But the way you're going about it is definitely worth as a plot for one of your troll romcoms, because you're bringing him down using a flushed strategy.What the fuck has your life come to?Or basically Karkat gets coerced into dating Strider in the hopes that he can break his heart and teach him a lesson because everyone's tired of his player lifestyle around the campus.





	1. Coercion Is A Bad Habit

**Author's Note:**

> Okay bitches, this is my first fic :)
> 
> I like the xenobiology, so I'm keeping them as trolls and humans, just so you guys won't be confused when you start reading.
> 
> Fucked up shit happens. Also, songs will be attached to each chapter :) Listen to it since the mood and atmosphere, as well as a little bit of the is probably inspired by said music.
> 
> " I hate U - by Simon Curtis "

"You want me to fucking **_WHAT?!"_** You practically screamed from the top of your lungs as you slammed the palm of your hands down onto the table, making his mug of heavily caffeinated coffee shake momentarily. You stared at him furiously, but he stubbornly remained unfazed by your totally menacing glare. Fuck him anyway.

 

"Look, the two of you have that love hate relationship thing going on so I think itd be best if you were the one to iniate the intervention." He answered casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the whole goddamn world.

 

"Who the fuck ever said we had a love hate thing going on?!?! Jesus fuck, it's a _rivalry,_ Captor! Get your goddamn red and blue glasses off and go see a proper fucking optometrist!" You retaliated while he lazily takes a long sip from his cup of coffee, averting his attention to his shitty laptop for a moment. He's totally blowing you off right now. That bastard.

 

"Look, we all already corroborated that you're the best candidate for this. Precisely because of the likelihood of you falling for his bs is extraordinarily in the negative numbers." He began to explain, intertwining his fingers like some evil fucking mafia boss from one of those crime movies Terezi watches 24/7. "Think of it as a competition and revenge for all the girls and boys he made cry in the past. I know you love fucking him over whenever you can."

 

With a very exaggerated eye roll, you kept up your long hard glare pointed at him. "Yeah, I do. But not in this way, fuck ass!"

 

He leans over the table, acting all serious like. "Karkat. He dumped your number one flush crush through an overly douchey text message after standing her up on the night of the winter ball. Sure, she shrugged it off and tore off her dress and danced like a goddamn badass, but we all know how she really is, right Karkat?" He got you to shut up at that.

 

Grumpily, you plopped back on your chair, a clear look of annoyance displayed all across your features. He grinned like a fucking motherfucker who just beat a goddamn computer AI on chess at hard mode. You'd punch him if it didn't get you yet another week of suspension from the principal.

 

"What exactly do you want me to fucking do?" You inquired reluctantly.

 

He pulls out his book bag and takes out a piece of paper, slipping it over to you. You read the text before slamming your fist back down on the table. "You want me to do this shit with the straightest guy in school?!"

 

"Rude, he's bisexual. Plus, what the hell do you plan to do to successfully break his heart other than doing those things above? Can't do that shit when he's not attached to you in that way."

 

"Shut the fuck up, the only guy he's hooked up with is John. Also, fuck that shit. Do you really fucking believe he'd be attracted to-" You retort, gesturing to yourself. "This?!"

 

He raises an eyebrow at you. "He flirts with everyone, John just happened to make it to boyfriend stage unlike the other guys he flirted with." You rolled your eyes. "Look, just treat it as another shitty ass challenge, okay? All you have to do is teach him a lesson about love and your romcoms. Hands on this time."

 

Silence loomed over the two of you for a long while, having a silent staring contest. But you finally break, unable to stay in that kind of state for too long.

 

"Fuck you all for this."

 

-

 

"Okay asshole. I propose a challenge to you, prideful cunt." So early in the morning. You didn't expect his short ass self to approach you before the start of the day bell even rings. Mostly because he claims that whenever he sees your face, his entire day is ruined immediately. So this is a nice surprise for a typical hump day Wednesday.

 

The grin that lightly touches your features makes him look even more miserable. God, he's fucking adorable when he's pissed. 

 

And now, you are gonna forget that that thought ever occurred to you in the first place. With an eye roll, he continues to talk. "Anyway fuck ass, everyone's tired of your shitty playboy personality-"

 

"You think so? The girls don't seem to think so, Vantas. I'm still hotshit around the school. Like if I was candy crush, there's still a shit ton of people who would want to play with me, some real loyal supporters and candy fans, climbing up the levels to get a lick of the Strider lollipop. Go listen to candyland by blood of the dance floor. It's pretty fucking accurate to my shitty ass analogy." This quip particularly makes him frown in an almost pouty face, but less cute on the face of a sleep deprived 16 year old. You'd still tap that though.

 

Again, innapropriate thoughts towards your sworn rival. Maybe it really was bad to mess with Pyrope, when he warned you not to touch her. Too fucking late though, your rebellious ass was too stupid to think that far ahead.

 

"Will you shut the fuck up and listen?!"

 

You shrugged, still a slight grin displayed on your face. "Fire away, Krabby."

 

"Everybody knows about your spotless record of dumping people, never the person being on the receiving end of the bullshit you throw at all your exes, I decided to finally put a fucking needle through your over inflated ego." He begins, rolling his eyes yet again, before making eye contact and glaring at your very existence. "So, here's my challenge for you, fuck ass. Your pride gets hurt massively by this shit if you lose, so don't treat it like one of your shitty ass sbahj comics or your dead as fuck harambe memes-"

 

"Legends never die, kit-kit."

 

A pointed death glare. You decide to shut the fuck up. You're well aware he'd happily kill you if it didn't go against the law in basically every country of the world. "Remember, this is a fucking challenge, asshat. Don't treat it in any other way. Your exclusive player reputation is on the line here, and you better fucking bet I'm hell bent on shitting on your rep after what you did to TZ." You nodded, frowning very slightly, just enough so you think he won't notice, when he too, begins to look a little a disturbed. "Date me. Talk sweet with me, play fight with me, send me pointless messages at 3 am, walk with me to and from school, say good morning and good night to me, go on dates with me, cuddle with me, hangout with each other's friends, fuck, even Netflix and chill without the subcontext of that included. Whoever falls in love first, loses."

 

You stared at him dumbfoundedly for a moment. "You mean... You want to dump me? Dude, you do realize that I can just dump you on the spot and keep my reputation."

 

He lets out a low guttural growl, a weird animalistic trait trolls carried with them. To be honest, you're kinda into it. "No, fuck ass. There's gonna be rules preventing you from doing shit like that. First of all, you can't dump me for no reason at all. You can only do that if your stupid ass can actually sense whether or not I've fallen for you, which I guarantee will never fucking happen in any life time. I have the advantage here because you seem to actually know jackshit about what true love looks like."

 

A full on mischievous cheshire grin slowly makes its way to your lips. In a swift motion, you corner him by putting your arms at either side of his head, preventing him from escaping. "You sure about that, kitkat?" You hissed lowly, but his reaction wasn't like the ones you've gotten before.

 

He literally fucking knees at your groin with a straight face before walking grumpily away, arms crossed,- while you fell on your knees, clutching your stomach and groaning in absolute pain. "Fuck you Vantass!" You called out.

 

Without even turning around, he replies in the same hostile way he does, just like your usual banter on a daily basis. "Go fuck yourself in a mirror, Stridouche!" His receding foot steps brings a smirk to your lips before crumbling to the ground again, another wave of pain going through your whole body's nervous system.

 

-

 

"Let's exchange numbers."

 

 That was the first thing you both did that afternoon you first met up as... "Couples" over lunch hour. You had to make a show of it during that time too, so everyone knows the two of you are an item. And everyone will know when you do eventually dump his ass on the cold hard concrete. Ruining his reputation has always been the goal, and the only way to do that is to show off that he's not as untouchable as he really seems to all his "fans". The goddamn egotistical bastard.

 

Sollux has mentioned that only a few people actually know about the intervention plan, so some of your friends were understandably, surprised. To say the least.

 

He had his arm casually draped over your shoulders as the two of you walked the halls for most of lunch time. Which was pretty fucking stupid because they had burgers in the cafeteria today and you were looking forward to eating that shit with your friends, but he insisted pretty hard. And Sollux kinda pushed you into it too.

 

You had to admit though, he does the cliche things to do that you've seen in most romance movies and TV series ever, so he isn't as clueless about romantic gestures as you thought he was. You thought he was just an inconsiderate jerk that girls willingly date for his looks. Guess it was wrong of you to assume that he was that narsassictic and shallow will all the big talk he does around everyone he fucking meets.

 

And honestly, he was well aware of your presence too. He sensed your sense shoulders and took notice of your unsure arms that you kept in a tight cross in front of your chest, wrinkling your perfectly ironed uniform. "Loosen up," He whispered in your ear, and out of instinct, you slapped him in the face, effectively shoving him away from you. Your handy claws also left a small scratch on the corner of his lips, breaking through his soft skin. God, humans were so delicate. But their determination and stupid stubbornness makes up for all their weak fleshy parts.

 

He simply smirked at your reaction while you glared daggers in his direction. Thankfully, he didn't try to touch you afterwards. You were already insecure as it is.

 

Everyone's reaction varied. A few needed for him to actually say it out loud and say that the two of you were- *gagging noises* - dating. Even then, they still kinda didn't believe it since after the Terezi incident, your rivalry with him kind of grew infamous around the student body.

 

A few whispered amongst themselves, throwing shade under their breaths, clearly meant for you. Others took the hint and actually said that they knew it? Fuck if you know. There is one thing you didn't expect though. You didn't expect all the attention to make you feel so... Confident? For once, you liked all the attention pointed in your direction, negative or positive. You used to always just liked being ignored by everyone, keeping your head down unless you're with people you feel comfortable with. But being beside self crowned prince of the school made you feel powerful in a way you haven't experienced before. You can't decide if that's a good thing or not.

 

By the end of the day, the two of you were the hottest topic. Up there with whatshisface styles new album or some shit. You don't pay attention to mainstream gossip, but you guessed you might have to keep up with it now that you're "together" with Strider. You need to keep up with what people think of your relationship and make sure it looks 'real' to really affect his reputation when all of this does eventually blow over.

 

You keep the slip of paper with the things to do with Strider from Sollux. This challenge also tests your overall knowledge of romance, so you're kind of thrilled you get to use the things you learned and apply them to real life to romance a love interest. Except everything is made shittier with the fact that the person you have to romance in a flushed quadrant is the person most qualified as your kismesis. Yes you hate him with a goddamn passion, but you can't deny it; he looks fuckable. And under kismesistude, that's what makes for a good soul mate in rivalry. Hell, this pursuit for ruining his reputation is a very black thing to do.

 

But the way you're going about it is definitely worth a plot of one of your troll romcoms, because you're bringing him down using a flushed strategy. What would the title be?

 

A romance and comedy movie in which a low mutant troll and a human male he has a deep kismesistude crush on, engage in a fake flushed relationship, in a scheme the low mutant troll hatched to try and ruin his kismesis crush's perfect reputation at their establishment of learning in an attempt to discourage other girls into agreeing to be with him after an incident that made his flush crush cry because of what his kismesis crush did while the two were still in an actual flushed relationship during a human ceremony called a 'winterball' that celebrates the falling of white stuff from the sky, and throughout it all, hijinx and drama ensues among their lives and the lives of their friends, Forever changing their path of destiny forever like no one has-

 

Yeah, no. It sounds like they're going to end up together in that way, and you're certain it won't be like that in your case. That shit only happens in your movies. And sadly, it can't happen for your flush crush either.

 

With a depressed sigh, you pin the slip of paper to your board of things above your desk before turning the lights off and heading off to bed.

 

You lie there, eyes staring wide up at the stick-on glow in the stars you didn't bother to take down since you were a kid. It was peaceful and quiet with the lampposts light from outside your window coming in through your opened blinds, bathing your room in a soft silver moon light glow.

 

Then, your phone vibrates from underneath your pillows.

 

-


	2. Sticky Notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably be able to update either every other day or if it's really bad, every week :")
> 
> But I'll try to update as much as I can 3 to 4 days after every update.

_Fuck everything._

Absolutely.

Fuck.

_Everything._

You're sitting your ass in the counselors office after a stern talking to about your shit behaviour in almost all your classes. You tried explaining shit but since when did anyone actually fucking listen to what you had to say? Even if you yelled it right to their fucking ears and made them bleed and cry in horror?

This whole thing wouldn't even have happened if you just had enough sleep last night. At least, more than 4 hours of sleep. Seriously. Fuck Strider with a 9 inch screw in the ass.

He kept you up all night last night, and you know he only did it to annoy the fuck out of you. Even though you promised yourself that you would mute your phone 500 times last night, you never actually ended up doing it until he finally stopped responding to you, probably falling asleep from the large wall of text you sent him, explaining why he can't shit on 'The Fault In Our Stars' just because he has watched the movie but never actually read the book which is always 10 times better and 100 times more emotional. This is exactly why you kept your phone number away from him at all costs. Seriously, one of Sollux's threats against you that got you to do shit for him guaranteed was threaten to give Strider your phone number. Somehow, he can always get you into a whole tangent about the stupidest things and completely forget you have other teenagerly duties to perform. Like homework and studying shit.

But now, you're here in first period, with a heavily caffeinated thermos of coffee held lazily around your clawed fingers, trying your best to keep your tired eyes open even though your mind can't actually comprehend how a fucking color can mean all that shit in poetry for your language arts class. For all we know, the author would slap your goddamn teacher and say that it's only the color of the window and it doesn't mean shit if he or she actually heard the bullshit spouting from your teacher's mouth.

You've turned off your phone for the rest of the day because you just know he'll bother you. He has previously expressed his extreme disdain for geometry and it's uselessness in actual real life practices.

God, you are so fucking tired that you barely even register the note that hit the back of your head, zoning out for a few moments and questioning whether that was just your imagination or if it's one of Captor's paper notes again. Still, you groggily lean down and under your seat, taking the crumpled up piece of paper weakly in your hands.

_Progress?_

The note questioned, and something about its trivialness irritated the absolute fuck out of you. So, you voted to just ignore it and take a long sobering sip from you bitter coffee. Like your soul. Actually, your fucking soul died years ago when you met Strider and realized what a big fucking prick he is.

Not even a minute passes by and another fucking piece of crumpled up paper hits you in the back of your head. You kept ignoring his pieces of paper that gets thrown your way every now and then, but it didn't take long for you to reach your irritation limit, considering your already shitty state at the moment.

To sum up the following events and skip the boring shit, you threw a middle finger at Captor who snickers at your loud swearing right in the middle of class while your peers and your teacher stare for a few moments in utter and complete awe. Then your classmates laughed out loud and Mrs. Crainer kicked you out of her class and sent you to the office for 'disruption of others' learning', 'disorderly conduct', and 'inappropriate school behaviour'. You didn't even have time to grab your coffee before she kicked you out of the classroom like you were some ugly disease she wanted to get rid of. The only disease in that fucking room was her old lady fashion sense.

Or so, that's what Kanaya would say.

And now, you're here again. Back to present. With the counselor who brought in the worst possible person to join you in your detention block.

He smirked at you with that usual shit eating grin he only reserves for you, to get you riled up everytime you two meet. Of course, the best course of action to make him stop is to ignore his entire existence. But that's kind of hard when his hair is bleached blonde and every fucking light around the school makes him so painfully obvious in a crowd, or in person. It's hard for you to admit, but he is hard to look away from, even with those shitty ass aviators blocking his most prominent features 100% of the time. Seriously, if you didn't know better you would've thought that his fucking shades is apart of his bone structure that grew out from behind his ears in a weird way to be shaped like obnoxious shades.

"I have a class to substitute in, I'm going to need the two of you to behave while I'm gone." She had said before leaving the room and closing the door behind you, leaving you completely alone with Strider. You didn't even have time to ask while the shit he's joining you in detention.

So, you ask him instead. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

He doesn't reply right away, taking his sweet time to sit at the lounge chair across from you. "Aren't you glad to see me, Kittykat?" He questioned, totally deflecting your own question.

"You fuck ass. Why the hell would I ever be 'glad' to see you? I still fucking hate your entire existence." You snapped right back at him, crossing your arms at him.

"Hey, you're the one who asked me out." He said simply, shrugging his shoulders.

"Look, I was coerced into doing this shit. That doesn't reflect how I really fucking feel for you, dumbass."

"You sure about that, Krabby? You sure the list of things you gave me wasn't your secret actual desires you want me to do with you?" He replied with yet another smirk as he leaned back in his chair, his relaxed position pissing you off more than it really should've.

"Strider, just shut the fuck up for me?" You answered with an exaggerated eye roll.

"Look, if you won't even let me close to you without feeling uncomfortable, how exactly am I going to romance you, self proclaimed king of love and everything romantic?" You stayed quiet for a while, knowing that he's got a point. But still, you're too irritated at life to give him a proper fucking point for that shit. He's still in the negative 9000s for you. The day he reaches a single positive point from you is when the impossible has happened; you actually began to tolerate his personality and maybe... Just maybe, actually like his personality.

Though... Your goal was to use your learned knowledge to romance Strider and then eventually break his heart and his trust when your finally sure that you've got him wrapped around your finger. You're not too worried about falling for him. You know that even though he isn't as shallow of a person as you first thought, you really doubt that there's nothing in his body that can change your blackrom feelings to redrom.

You stared back up at him, who was still staring at your direction, waiting for an answer, or more like a quip, in response to what he had just blatantly pointed out. You did make him bleed a little yesterday for invading your personal space, when that amount of intimacy should be expected in couples...

No matter how much you hate his little touches and intimate gestures, you have to get used to it if you stand a chance at getting him to fall for you, admittedly, fucked up self. Which seems a lot harder in your mind now than it was before.

"Fine, fuckface." You finally said, moving to the corner of the couch and give him space to sit right beside you. "C'mere." You say, gesturing with your hand to the opened up space you left for him.

He grinned obnoxiously as he stood up from his previous seat to plop down beside you. With a careful eye, you watched him from the corner of your eye. He doesn't come any closer to you than the spot you had patted to indicate that he could sit next to you. He simply sits there, quietly and obidient, while you leaned into the armrest, head resting in your makeshift nest made by your arms.

He stayed there, tapping his fingers on his leg while he aimlessly looked around the small 4 cornered room. It made you feel restless that he didn't try anything douchey like you had expected him to. He did the exact opposite thing you expected from a player like him. The fact that he was maybe an actual decent human being who wouldn't invade your precious personal space unless he had permission to was baffling to your thinkpan.

But this gives you the iniative to be the pursuer and not the pursuit, like what he has displayed so far. From the movies you've watched so far, the point of view is usually placed on the female protagonist with confidence issues, being pursued by a much more dominant male. Throughout the film, it's usually depicted that the female protagonist slowly shows symptoms of affection and attraction towards the male until the epic climatic finish where they get together. It's always just assumed that the male love interest is in love with the female and isn't leading her on. That would make for a shitty romance comedy plot, and much more realistic. But everyone knows nobody likes realistic shit.

So, that's the role you'll be taking on. Except, you don't actually love the love interest and all of your romantic gestures are faked to make Strider deeply and madly in love with you before you shit on his parade and dump his ass, your ultimate reward being able to see your black crush cry because of an overly elaborate yet simple plan you've come up with.

You sat up and cautiously scooted just a little closer to him to rest your head on a small part of his shoulder. He glances over at you for a moment before hesitantly loosely putting an arm around your shoulders again, much like what he had done yesterday.

The two of you just sat there, awkwardly taking in the silence of it all. Though you tensed up a bit again when he put an arm around you, you tried taking your mind out of it and tried to relax your posture a bit more. You had to be comfortable touching him first before you can put your plan into action.

"Why're you here again?" You mumbled, your voice still sounding loud and clear in the still quietness of the counselor's office.

You felt him shift his shoulders ever so slightly, and you register it as a shrug. "Got caught texting in class."

You raised your eyebrow at him, looking up at his face from the corner of your eyes. "Is that why you don't have your headset on, listening to your own goddamn mix-tapes like you usually do?"

"Excuse you, my mix-tapes are fire. Got lots of sick irons in the fire." He replied, a hint of amusement and slight laughter in his voice. It made you smile a bit, something about hearing his usual antics sending a feeling of much needed comfort to you in such an awkward position. You immediately suppress it though, as soon as you realize it.

"Why the hell were you even texting in class in the first place?"

Again, that small shift in his posture. Another shrug. You begin to notice small things by being so close to him like this. Like his short breathing cycles and the natural warmth humans emitted. "Sol sent me a text telling me you just got in trouble." He answered with a mild chuckle. You were sitting up and straight in less than a second after he finished that sentence.

"He what?" You said exasperatedly a little too loudly. He takes his arm off of you, not a hint of any expression on his face that indicated that he was surprised by or outburst or such. With an eye roll and a thorough run of hair hair with your hands, you swore. "That fucking cunt!"

He set you up to spend more time with Strider because you refused to answer his question about your current progress with him. Goddamn it, it's literally only been a day! What kind of progress was he fucking expecting from you?! Stupid fuck ass Captor. He should just spend his time fucking Ampora rather than bothering you for stupid shit like this.

"Yo, you okay?" He questioned, barely a hint of possibly something in his tone of voice. You ignored it. You were too fucking pissed at your childhood friend who you've always known was also a big prick. Maybe less than Strider, but still a fucking prick.

"No I fucking am not, Strider. Did you get yourself in trouble on purpose then?!" You practically shouted at him, still trying to keep your composure from completely blowing up yet. Why does being a teenager have to be so goddamn stressful?

He stared back at you for a few moments before opening his mouth. "My home room teacher's a bitch anyway. I'm actually glad he caught me texting and sent-"

"Strider! Did. You. Come. Here. On. Purpose. Or. Not?!" You repeated, glaringly angrily in his direction.

Again with that shitty ass shrug. "I didn't mean to. Mr. Han is like a fucking hawk. Seriously, he's in his late 40s but his eyes literally sees everything in the goddamn classroom. My shades are pretty handy when I'm texting because he can't see my eyes."

You simply just-

Deflate, at this point. You're too tired after building up all that anger all morning and you don't have the capacity to blow up in his face anymore.

With a sigh, you simply just lay back down against him. If Sollux keeps trying to open up opportunities for you, you'll have to fucking tell him to stop and that you can handle shit by yourself. Even though you're so much more sensitive today because of your lack of sleep, you'll have to let it go for now and just use this opportunity for what it's worth.

You don't bother to tell him that he's free to put an arm around you or not. You just close your eyes and quickly drift off to sleep as soon as you do.

-

He's quietly sleeping on your arm. It's only been 15 minutes but you guess you really tired him out last night when you kept texting him none stop, because he really does seem to be in a deep peaceful sleep in such a short amount of time.

God, your poor arm that's lost all circulation at this point. You don't dare move even an inch because you have no idea if Karkat is a heavy sleeper or a light one, and you don't want to risk waking him up and getting another mouthful of shouts right into your ear. And another sad thing for you, aside from the prickling sensation of needles all over your arms, is that you're utterly bored without your phone.

Your homeroom teacher had snatched it before he kicked you out of the class and got the counselor to guide you all the way to the office and into her room. The most entertaining thing you can do inside this empty room is stare at the troll's sleeping expression.

Sure, you've always seen his short stature and hot headed personality as cute, but you've never really seen anything aside from that. Seeing his creaseless forehead and slightly open mouth in a peaceful expression was a very new sight to your dark tinted perspective. He seemed to have a baby face, much like you expected, if he just stopped frowning so much and actually tried other expressions to be displayed on his face. Then again, he's famous around the school for having the best 'resting bitch face'. Not sure if that's a good title to have or not.

The door of the counselor's office opens and again, you thank your aviators for the 100000th time and their ability to hide your eyes. She would've been more surprised at what she saw if she caught you staring at him like some love struck idiot in Vantas' romcoms.

You shrugged before utterly regretting the small movement as more numbing pricking sensations go through your arm, itching to move. "He's my boyfriend." You said casually, trying to keep the best straight face you can manage at that current moment. Good thing you've mastered the technique years ago. The counselor stared at you with a look of puzzlement before sighing, probably thinking _'It'_ _s Strider, what did you expect?'._ Your reputation reaches everyone around the school, even the staff members.

"The block is over and both of your detention time should be done already." She simply said, going behind her desk and taking a seat.

"Can you mark him as being in here for the rest of his blocks until he wakes up? I have a feeling he'll flip off another teacher if he wakes up before he's actually ready to wake up." You say with a casual tone. Giving him some time to sleep would be the least that you can do after making him stay up till 3 in the fucking morning last night.

She shrugged. "I think that'd be good. But you should go to the rest of your classes Strider." She ordered in a polite tone and slowly, ever so slowly, you tried to squirm out from under him.

Seems like he's a heavy sleeper when he's really tired. And you mentally slap yourself for the thoughts that come after that and the underlying meaning it could have out of context.

"Can I?" You asked the counselor has you peeled off a piece of heart shaped pink sticky note from her desk. She simply nodded at you without looking away from her computer screen.

You write a short message on it before sticking it on his forehead on your way out. You wonder for a moment when he'll actually wake up from his deep cat nap.


	3. 7 '8' 9

_'Get some more sleep, kitkat. Your eyebags look terrible and coffee does bad shit to your body :P'_

You pinned it up to your board, right beside the list of things you two should do as a couple. Sure, it was a simple ass note, and waking up to feel it stuck to your forehead was almost triggering, but something about the simplicity of the sentence he put into it felt endearing. Though he may slowly seem like less of an asshole to you and so unlike the rumors you've heard about him and his narsassictic facade, that doesn't mean your chances of falling for him went up any higher than 0.1.

A few days have past and the initial buzz about your unexpected hook up was slowly starting to fade away from everyone's mind, something you didn't have a particular opinion on. They'll start talking again soon enough. You just have to wait at least 4 months, since Google says a crush only lasts for that long, and if it surpasses that amount of given time, the person can finally be considered as someone who is 'in love'. Should be much easier thought, considering your young ages and the tendency to fall easily and over use the words 'I love you' in the first week of dating. Seriously, those types of couples disgust you. You're not fond of hooks ups, one night stands, sex friends, and all sorts of short lasting relationships in the flushed quadrant. To you, doing the 'thing' should be considered something sacred and only given when you're absolutely sure of the person you have picked as a matesprit.

Though you can accept mistakes. Everyone's a fucking manipulative horny bastards who can and will lead others astray from their morals. But if the sole reason is for 'fun' and 'pleasure', that's when you draw the line. You're a hard core romance fanatic, as some would first observe about you, so you put a lot of value in 'the first time' of everything. First kiss, first dates, first that.

You closed your lights and was just about to head into bed, when you got an expected text message from Stridouche.

_'We should go on a date sometime'._

You fully expected this to happen soon, but reading the message still made your heart skip. You've never gone out with anyone truly, so this is all new, and even though this is Strider your talking about, the thought of going to a date still gave you butterflies.

 _'Uh, sure? I guess. When?'_ And-

Sent.

-

"You know, I'm still surprised that the two of you are dating in that way. Really unexpected." She had stated, chuckling to herself as she poured the two chemical liquids together, while the rest of you at the table watched in either awe or absolute boredom, as the two clear liquids slowly turned a mild greenish color when added together.

Chemistry is a pain in the ass to you, and you had no idea why you even took it. Probably because out of the options of biology and physics, it was the one that sounded the least boring to you. Science is still boring either way and you were wrong to be hopeful of that fact ever changing.

"I didn't expect it either, but whatever." You replied, deciding to just go along with it. From what you've heard, the douche cheated on Harley with her own cousin, while they kept it a hidden relationship at the time. Though, it's rumored that John apparently knew about it, but didn't really didn't bother to say anything to her for some reason. Jade strongly disagrees with those rumors though and it's still unclear what really happened with the trio of humans during that time. People at the campus like to over dramatize things, and you've just come to believe in the simpler explanations above anything else. It makes more sense considering your fucking lives isn't a dramatic sitcom.

"But really though, tell us how it happened!" She insisted excitedly, putting down her vials of chemicals for a moment to grin widely diagonally across the table, over to your direction.

You paused for a moment, realizing that you and Captor never really talked about a cover story as to how the infamous rivalry got together and became Matesprits. But before you can open your mouth to answer, Rose piped up from right across the table from you. "From what I've heard from Dave, it was really more of a whim when he did. But I guess they're trying to work things out either way."

Jade looked over at Rose, with Kanaya sitting in between them. "Of course it'd be Strider that asks him out. It makes more sense now." She said in reply, continuing on with her experiments, humming a lovely tune to herself.

You glanced over at the blonde who was diligently copying notes she has missed in the last few days from her matesprit's notebook. She briefly looked up and made eye contact with you before she averted her attention back to her neat scribbling. You should've expected that Lalonde would be in on the plan as well. After all, she is he's cousin, although sometimes, they act more like twins than anything else. She keeps him out of trouble whenever she can, but from what you heard from Kanaya, she's been missing quite a few days throughout the school year lately. Seemingly much more than usual unlike last year.

"By the way, how is everything with Strider after the first week of being with him?" Kanaya had questioned after a few moments of sullen silence had blanketed your group. Gamzee was asleep as always, and Sollux tuned everyone out with his headphones. This was suppose to be a goddamn group project but it seems that only Harley actually paid attention enough I'm class to do shit properly without blowing anything up.

"It's fine, I guess." You said with a half hearted shrug in her way, toying around with the parts of the pen you had pulled apart for the past half hour. "I guess he's not as douchey as I thought? I don't know about all the attention I'm getting though. Seriously, this is the 5th fucking time I've gotten a threat letter from one of his fangirl posse."

Oh, you forgot to mention that fact. Though gossip had died down significantly in the past week you've been together, you still occasionally got slips of paper from his jealous fangirls, asking why the hell you're with him. Hell, some of these girls don't accept you as a kismesistude to him either. They're so fucking possessively annoying and you've just began to throw away the slips of paper without even reading them. They don't bother you all that much, aside from the extra steps you need to take to throw the shit into a recycling bin.

Rose seemingly perks up at the things you've mentioned and you stiffen for a moment. It comes so naturally for you to admit everything in your head to your moirail whenever she asks. You even forgot that you're literally in a group of people, though admittedly barely a quarter were really paying attention, but still, others around you can still hear. The short blonde attempted to hide her sudden alertness to what you've just said by leaning just slightly more closer to her notes, appearing like she was much more focused than before. You mentally slap yourself.

"Hey, if anything goes goes horrendously wrong with Strider, you can always come talk to me for a chat, kay?" She said reassuringly, reaching over and taking one of your hands to hold it in hers for a couple of moments, before letting go again. "I promise I won't whip out the chainsaw if you don't want me to."

That joking statement pulled a chuckle out of you, lightening the mood of this horrendous class just a bit. "It's Strider. I'd fucking want you to pull out your badass chainsaw."

-

Thursday, just a day after your one week anniversary with him, was the day the both of you decided on for that date that's been in the works since last Sunday. You worked part time in a local Starbucks just a few blocks away from your school, and you only had Thursdays and Sundays as days off for the entire week. Today was the latest day you could go out, and he didn't seem to mind that the two of you were going to have to be hanging out after school.

You tried your best not to think too much about it as you got your stuff out of your locker and headed to the main entrance of the school to meet up with him before the two of you walked your way down town and to whatever establishment he had in mind.

He waved you over to throw front, his red backpack slung over one shoulder with his blue blazer wrapped around his waist. Like you've observed before, he's so easy to spot in a crowd, even as many students piled out the entrance to head into their own bus stops and you were still down the hall. What's more surprising to you was the fact that he even found you through the sea of people, despite by our short stature and dark hair that blended with almost every single one of the fuckery fighting their way out of the campus.

He had grabbed your arm and pulled you out the doors as soon as you were in arms length of him. It was absolutely hot inside the school with all the other warm bodies inside, but getting out into fresh air didn't help all that much either. Summer was approaching closer and closer, and you hated every bit of it.

The two of you walked over to a shaded part of the school for a moment whole you carelessly dropped your bag onto the grassy floor to take off your blazer and tie in the hopes of cooling yourself off. _"Fuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkk!_ It's so goddamn hot, why the fuck doesn't this school have a special summer uniform?! I fucking swear kids have died from heatstroke because of this shit." You had complained and whined all while you sluggishly took off said pieces of clothing and stuffed them into your almost empty backpack.

"Is that all it takes for you to give me a little strip tease Karkrab? Damn, I think this summer is looking extra bright this year." He had joked while you were still bent down, stuffing your shit into your backpack.

"Fuck off, asshole. It's gonna take a millenia before you see my ass naked." You had snapped back at him, flipping him off as you tiredly heaved your backpack onto your shoulders again and began walking ahead of him on the downwards slope leading to the local shopping malls and restaurants around the town.

Strider had easily caught up to you, and the two of you walked in silence. The sun was slowly falling down the horizon, bathing everything in a soft warm orange hue. This is one of the few things that actually made you smile about summer, despite its shittingly high increase in temperatures.

You heard a suppressed chuckle from beside you and you immediately frowned deeply. "What's so fucking funny, fuck ass?"

Strider stared ahead at the sidewalk while he replied. "Nothing much. Just didn't think I'd actually see you smile so soon already. Hell, I would've expected to see you nude before I actually got to witness your smile." He had said it in his usual teasing manner, just like how the two of you used insults that borderlined on being flirtatious. Though it mostly came from his end, you think you did a few times too, subconsciously. You do admit that if humans could actually grasp quadrants as well as trolls do, you'd hook up in an intimate kismesistude with Strider. Sure, it was taught to all of you in health class, but it's still not the same as a troll who's got them programmed into their biological code.

It's clichéd, you know. The things he says and the things he does, is clichéd whether he knows it or not. And something about its sheer stupidness, like in your romcoms, makes your skip a beat. But that's _it._ It's not because it came from Strider, it's the fact that you're actually hearing cheesy lines you've only ever seen in movies, being said towards you.

It's just _that._ Nothing more.

"Shut your fucking speaking orifice, Strider. Where the hell are you even planning on taking me to?" You replied, trying to best to summon the inner anger you always had inside of you.

He gazed your way for a moment, expressionless face being tainted by a small upwards quirk you've learned to decipher in the corners of his lips. "Wait and you'll find out."

-

Staring up at the large sign that told you it was 'McDonald's' didn't make it anymore realistic. You looked towards Strider with a dumbfounded expression.

"You brought me to a fucking _McDonald's."_

"Yep."

"On our fucking first date."

"Sure did, Krabkat."

The absurdness of the whole situation just made you laugh out loud more than anything. He looked over your way, and there's more than a hint of smirk on his face this time. "Real fucking smooth, Strider! Is this seriously where you take all of your dates to win their heart?"

"Yes, dude. I'm being completely serious here too. It's a good way to loosen up and have a casual chat instead of going to some fancy restaurant that makes you hella uncomfortable with your first date while you wear a fucking tux that just suffucates the shit out of you, so when you do die from asphyxiation, they'll mistake you for a shitty version of Christian Gray from 50 Shades of Gray, only 50 times more broke." You kept laughing, hearing his shitty and overly complicated analogy of a fancy dinner date.

You've only ever heard him ramble like this a few times, in the rare occasion you two weren't arguing like elementary students in the play park about who gets to use the swing first.

"Just fucking order me a sundae and I'll forgive you for your shit attempt at being romantic." You said, still laughing lightly as you pushed the door open and entered.

It wasn't as crowded as you had expected a McDonald's to be, so it didn't take long until the two of you were snacking on fries, medium sized Coca-Cola sodas, and ice cream sundae with chocolate dripping just a little bit over the side of its cup.

He had told you about why the fuck he draws sbahj, and when you found out that he's apparently really talented and it takes effort to draw that fucked up for him, you called him on his bullshit. But when he did take out his sketchbook and showed you some of the shit he's done, as well as other song lyrics scribbled all over the free spaces he could find, it was pretty hard for you to deny his ability.

You knew just a little more about him, and in turn, he knew just a little more about you. They were meaningless facts, like his confession of trying to deep throat a fucking hotdog when he was 10 after he read it on some post in Facebook. Or your own confession of kissing your stuffed crabby when you first started to fall in love with romcom movies, everytime the climatic moment the protagonist and his or her love interest finally solve everything and be together. You left out the fact that you still did to this day though, only when the movie preceedes your expectations though.

For once, you actually appreciated hanging out with Strider. It was unexpectedly fun, even when you threw a fry dipped in ice cream at him after he made a mini story about why 7 '8' 9. Let's just say that it was NSFW.

"Oh! By the way, and I literally just fucking realized this now,- But why do you always seem to be missing from gym class?" You had asked after the both of you finished your fit of laughter when you literally just witnessed a failed attempt at robbery across the street of a man in his underwear with a shitty batman mask made out of cardboard and half heartedly painted black.

He tensed at the question and there was a moment of silence that lasted a bit too long for your taste. "Nah. I've been excused for gym for the rest of the year because of an injury I got last summer." He had answered with a casual smile, before changing the topic completely.

Something seemed off after that, but you decided to just ignore it. It wasn't that big of a deal.

By the time the two of you finally parted ways, the sun was already barely a sliver at the edge of horizon, and the sky was slowly being over taken by dark hues of purples and blues, and the lamp posts began turning on, all on their own.

He stayed just a bit longer, and as did you, but you lived in different parts. So, you bid him goodbye and turned around, hands in your pocket as you walked aline through the night.

-


	4. Cuddling Isnt So Bad Under The Summer Heat After All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter Chapter :")
> 
> I swear things will finally get interesting after this chapter :")

Since then, things should have felt much different between the two of you. It feels much more natural for the two of you to interact with each other in the hallways while moving to your next classes, or cracking jokes and having a one on one chat while the two of you hangout with your friends on lunch break. Things don't seem as tense as they used to be, and you really don't mind it much. You still call him a douche and a prick, but it's more of a pet name of yours for him at this point. Like the way he has a shit ton of puns for your name, you have a shit ton of curses and insults to call him by.

Although it was a slight change in atmosphere and you two still bantered about the stupidest shit ever, people seem to be taking a notice to it too. You're not sure if Strider can sense it, but to you, the two of you actually feel like you have established a fun relationship.

You've set up another date in the future, but for the time being, the two of you just hang out and walk around the campus from time to time. Of course, you still make a show of your relationship at times, being openly affectionately in front of a crowd or walking around holding hands or with Strider having his arm wrapped around your shoulder. You've gotten really used to any small touch from him, even having petty fights with him like hitting his arm, or playful headlocks.

Even though you two feel like friends, with the title the two of you hold, it seems others are actually starting to believe your relationship much more.

Kanaya had cornered you one particular day on lunch break to do a weekly check up on your state. She's an amazing moirail who supports you in whatever form you need. Though it seems the two of you haven't been able to spend much time together due to her matesprit. And you're totally fine with that, because when you do get to talk with her, she often seems concerned for her.

The talk the two of you had that same element, but it all started off about you.

"I'm glad the two of you seem to be getting well a lot more lately." She had stated, crossing her arms and smiling sheepishly in your direction. The two of you had retreated from the cafeteria and went over to an isolated part of the hallways to have your chat. Strider and the others were still back in the cafeteria, having some sort of rapping competition.

"Yeah, I guess so? I know I ranted a shit ton about him to you before, but I guess he's not half as bad as I actually expected him to be." You replied casually, chuckling a bit at how you remembered all those feelings jams with Kanaya, taking out all your frustrations by telling her everything. Remembering them now, you seemed immature for hating his irrationally from the very begining. But something about his image has always irked you. Especially those obnoxious shades of his that you've tried to swipe away from him multiple times before.

"You know, I have always thought that the two of you had chemistry. In the black quadrant, yes, but I now realize that the two of you seem to be much better suited for your current quadrant." She had stated, smiling slyly in that way she always does to tease you. You had rolled your eyes at her, despite grinning yourself.

"Yeah, okay, whatever you say, Maryam." You had quipped back and the two of you chuckled.

"I'm being serious! Even Feferi thought that the two of you looked nice together." You smiled slightly at that. Your friends were mostly accepting of your current relationship, but you did expect a few to be... Not so thrilled about it. Aside from Strider's pissed off fan group, John has been eerily quiet for a while now about the whole matter. Jade stays cheerful, though she does tend to avoid talking about her time with Strider. Terezi is still the cackling badass that she is, although she does tell you 'good luck with Strider' from time to time. You haven't seen Nepeta or Equius in a while and you're begining to get a little concerned. You're well aware of her flushed leanings towards you for years now, but you avoid talking about it with her or even outright make excuses when she tries to confess. You just don't see her that way and you don't want to be the reason she gets all depressed for a long while afterwards. She's genuinely in love with you, because you remember her having always liked you since you two met in elementary.

"Seriously? You guys really think we _look_ that good beside each other?"

Kanaya shook her head. "No, it's in the way the two of you interact with each other. Your banters with Strider has always had that... ' _Charged energy_ ' between the back and forth retorts. It's quite sexually appealing, honestly." She said in a joking manner, laughing lightly to herself. You looked down at your feet at the comment, feeling a sudden rush of blood come to your head.

You've never paid much attention to that.

"God Kanaya, I cant fucking believe you just said that to me. Jesus Christ, _we're not going to go that far._ " You replied with an eye roll, self consciously picking at the hem of your blazer.

She nodded, looking at the window behind you a bit wistfully. "Can I ask a favor of you?" She had asked after a long moment of sitting in silence. You snapped your head towards her, a sad smile decorating her face.

"Sure. Anything for you, really..." You had muttered in response.

"Can you ask your matesprit about Rose?" She had requested you, voice taking on a hint of concern.

She missed school again.

-

The two of you had broken away from the group the next day after that. You laid on the grass, covering your vision from the intense gaze of the sun. Your dark blue blazer was discarded off to the side and your sleeves were rolled up to your elbows. Strider was much in the same position as you, only he kept his shades as usual.

"Hey, kittykat?" You glanced over his way, eyes half lidded. "Am I making you swoon yet? Do you like me yet?"

You frowned lightly at his question and rolled over to his side, putting an arm over him and cuddling close like you had done so many times before. "Shut the fuck up, Stridouche. All you've done so far is prove to me that you aren't a complete shallow playboy prick. Yore far from romancing me."

He had tried to weakly shove you away from him, complaining about the combined body heat plus the already shittingly hot temperature outside. Though the there was a faint breeze passing by, it barely helped cool the two of you out. Eventually, he just gave up trying to push you away and decided to get back at you by wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

He was right, the heat was unbearably with your combined heat. But something about it had a comforting element to it. Like a warm day, where the heat isn't so irritating, and instead, it's just right to make you feel sleepy. Like bathing in warm water on a tub and feeling relaxed enough to sleep- If it didn't absolutely fucking drown you.

The places the two of you touched were burning, but in that same comforting way you had described. Like a slow burning feeling, in the most pleasant way possible. You had yawned and began to drift off, completely ignoring the fact that lunch was going to be over in 10 minutes. Your gym teacher can go suck a dick.

You've found that it's much easier to sleep when you're with Strider. He stays absolutely still and he can actually get really quiet at times. He's not a blabbering fool that just rambles on and on about stupid shit until you die suddenly from chronic annoyance.

It's really easy to be comfortable with him like this. But the two of you still are at the begining stages of everything, and you can't help but wonder about his shades. The more you thought about him, the more you realize that he seems more mysterious than you thought. He's an open person while being secretive at the same time. Talking about meaningless achievements, stupid stunts, but never really going into detail about himself other than his hobbies.

It's an interesting dilemma to ponder while you drown deeper and deeper into sleep.

-

All around you were small sounds of nature. The buzz of flies and bees floating about and going through their insignificant lives. The soft rusting of leaves every time a breeze passes by. The vibrating of your phone in your jean pocket.

You took out your phone from your pocket and checked the message. Typical, it's from Rose.

' _You need to finish packing up. I'm not the only one doing the work here, so can you please help out? I know it's hard, but you need to help, Dave.'_

Same old message as usual. Damn, you're probably going to get forced to stay at home tomorrow and miss school.

You glanced over at Karkat, who was sleeping soundly beside you again. You seriously think he's just using you as a human pillow at this point, because everytime the two of you seem to cuddle like this, he fucking falls asleep right away. It's kind of hilarious at times because he's such a deeper sleeper, and you sometimes move his limbs all around to make him do stupid cute shit. Knowing this, you also learned how to squirm your arm out from under him to avoid letting your arm fall asleep again like what has happened so many times before.

You don't bother replying to Rose when you sat up on the grass and picked off leaves from your hair. You took your backpack, peeling off another sticky notes in the shape of an apple and write a short message on it before sticking it to his forehead.

_'How much sleep do you trolls even need? Stop staying up so late at night, rewatching The Time Traveller's wife for the 56th time :P'_

-

Things flow and change so easily.

Again, you stuck up the note right beside the other one he previously stuck on your forehead just a week ago. It's the weekends and you still haven't gotten a single message from him, pestering for you to entertain his bored ass.

Sunday comes and passes by just as usual. Then Monday. Then Tuesday. Wednesday, Thursday.

Lalonde and Strider didn't come to school all week.

-

 

 


	5. Undesirable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I just realized the chapter I was writing was wayyyyyyy too long to be a single chapter, so I cut it up into two parts.
> 
> This one's a lot shorter though, so I apologize if I left it in a kind of cliff hanger :")

Jade looked at you with mild curiosity, a grin plastered all over her face as usual. "You haven't seen Dave around? Well, I don't know if I can really help you much with that." She replied to your question, tapping her pointer finger on her chin. She still has the many colored rubber bands decorating the length of her fingers.

With a somewhat defeated sigh, you put your hands into your jeans. "Seriously? Sorry if I'm prying, Harley, but can't you tell me just a little more about when the two of you were together?"

Something in you had prompted you to go searching for some sort of answer. You would visit him at his home for a satisfying answer but he's never even once mentioned where his house is, or even said the word once in one of your conversations. If it had been any other day, you could have cared less whether he came to school or not, but with the recent developments between the two of you, you hated to admit it, but you feel concerned for him. Perhaps a bit more heightened with your curiosity.

The raven haired girl frowned a little at the question but sighed and hopped off the cafeteria table. "We weren't together for very long due to... Unpleasant circumstances. But from what I experienced, he does usually disappear for either short or long periods at a time. It's been happening since this December, and it seems that it's still going on... Honestly Karkat, I have no idea what's up with Dave. He never told me anything about it even when I asked."

"Seriously? Do you at least know where he lives?" You persisted, furrow ing your browser together after hearing the answer she just gave you.

She sighed. "No. He never talks about his home life, and after a long time of trying to get him to talk about it, I just kinda gave up on it. It seems like a very sensitive topic for him." Jade replied with a half hearted shrug.

What the actual fuck. Whenever you hear the name 'Strider', the first thing that pops into your mind isn't 'mysterious' or 'secretive'. You always thought of shitty aviator shades, ironic composing of indie lyrics, sick beats, fire mix-tapes, and over confidence. Seems like to this day, you're still assuming stuff about Strider, because you had always thought that he was some obnoxious rich kid who's got it all. It's... A bad habit you really need to drop. Especially around him who's proven your expectations of him quite wrong multiple times now.

You were about to just leave it there and walk back to your group of friends when a name popped up into your mind. "What if I ask John?"

The question clearly surprised her, her green irises widening just a bit behind her round glasses. "You want to ask _John?"_ She repeated, sounding incredulous. You shrugged your shoulders. "Why? I don't think he'd be willing to tell you anything considering you're Dave's new boyfriend."

You simply frowned at her, crossing your arms. "Why the fuck not? Does he still like him? I mean, I just want to know where his residence is, and I figured Egbert would know it since like, they've been friends since childhood?"

The emerald eyed girl looks up at the ceiling for a moment before looking back at you, locking her eyes with yours. "I don't think digging through what happened between them is any of your business. You're my friend, Karkat. But my uncle specifically instructed for me to take care of my cousin when he decided to follow me here and attend the academy like all our other friends." She explained, putting a hand on your shoulder, something which you shrugged off immediately. She giggled, knowing that you still hate any physical touch with anyone unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Well, whatever. I was just curious. Like, I know he did this kind of stuff before but it's a bit concerning and suspicious."

Jade simply nodded in agreement to your statement. "I think you'll just have to wait until he gets back. No one knows what's really up with him aside from Rose. And I've asked her before too, but she says it's a sensitive topic and she doesn't want to talk about it unless I've gotten proper permission from Dave."

For now, you accepted that as a valid answer. Until he gets back...

-

You sent him a couple of texts over the course of the week. You had gotten so used to being around his presence in the past 3 weeks that it feels strange not having his human warmth near you. You had virtually forgotten your burning hate for him at this point in time, and thoughts about what he could be doing were what mostly swirled around in your mind.

Thinking about him in his absence became something of a common practice for you at nights, and it takes you by surprise everytime you catch yourself thinking of him. You tried to drown out other thoughts of him from your mind, trying to gather all your previous memories of bad arguing with him, but somehow, it's hard to think of them even if you had multitudes of unpleasant past experiences with him.

Instead of the numerous times you had shouted at him and wanted to punch his smirking face from across the cafeteria table, you remembered the stories he told you when he took you out to McDonald's on your first date. Instead of remembering the many times he has made fun of your height and the urge to kick him in the nuts, you remember the nap he let you have in the counselor's office after he had kept you up all night last night. Instead of the countless times he had annoyingly poked and pinched at your skin just to get a reaction, you remembered the warm day you spent with him outside of the school, arms wrapped around each other despite the burning heat the sun emminated that day. The sticky feeling of your combined sweat, the fresh scent of apples that he always carried around wherever he went.

You buried your face into your pillow, trying to forget the memories and just drift off to sleep.

Though, the scent of apples stayed with you, and somehow, you can taste hints of it in the back of your throat.

You hated it.

-

At least, that was what you can remember from the day before. Aside from remembering the how the day started yesterday, and Strider's return to school and the usual lunch hour shenanigans, the rest of the day is completely lost to you. The splitting headache that's going on inside your brain isn't helping either. You don't feel like moving and on the current bed you occupy, because even moving your eyes in any direction made you feel nauseous and like you needed to puke.

So, you kept your eyes tightly closed, trying your best to scoure your thinkpan for any other fragments of memories.

You already have a haunting feeling as to what your missing hours could've been spent at.

-

"Where have you been?" You asked him casually, as you walked around the campus hand in hand. You watched the others' around you idly, for there are so many other students walking around the field, chatting and having a mini picnic. People tend to notice the two of you together at any given time of day, as you see and feel the eyes on you. Wherever you go, people notice the two of you immediately.

"Just had some things to deal with at home. You don't need to worry so much." He replied softly to you, but no matter what he did, you could tell that his supposedly reassuring smile was tense and forced.

"You do know that I still am your 'boyfriend' in title. We could still totally have some feelings jam if you need it." You had offered, a tugging feeling inside your chest for a moment. You felt silly saying the words out loud, and though you didn't mean to, it probably came out a little sarcastic and insincere. But before you can clear up any misundertandings, he shook his head, letting go of your hand and roughly running his hands through your wiry hair.

"Yeah I know, but seriously, I'm fine. You don't need to worry about me." He had told you again and again, before changing the topic and loosely putting an arm around you. "By the way, I heard that Terezi's having a party tonight over at her house. We definitely need to tag along with them, kitkat."

You had went along with the change in topic, deciding to save that conversation for a later, more appropriate time.

-


	6. Liquid Courage, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning : underage drinking ahead. Also, explicit sexual content in the next chapter :")
> 
> No smut yet ;3 But there is heavy makeouts and detailed touching

Everyone was at the party, surprisingly. Everyone was in casual street clothes, the rare occasion you actually see your fellow classmates out of their mandatory uniform.

The party was already in full swing when you arrived to Pyrope's residence, a big banner that clumsily said 'Rainbow Rumpus Party' hung above the door. Even Nepeta had shown up, shorts and her usual green jacket draped over her shoulders. Aradia was changed with Strider in one corner of the couch, probably talking about some space time shit you can never understand. Terezi was near the table, setting up the various assortments of spiked refreshments and unhealthy food with Vriska Serket helping her out. Sollux was missing, but a coat with his initials on it was hanging by the coat hangers right beside the door, so you assumed that he's probably already drunk and busy with Ampora at some secluded part of the large house. Jade was having a lively chat with the girls in the middle of the room, and you thought you even saw some suggestive touches between Feferi and the adorable buck toothed girl. Gamzee has cornered Nitram to a wall, and you're not really sure if you want to know what they're talking about. Kanaya and Rose were sipping some drinks in a counter on the kitchen, quietly flirting amongst themselves.

But then you notice that someone was missing. It hadn't been long since Strider broke up with him and asked Terezi out to a date, before finally becoming official. Things are foggy between Jade, Strider, and Egbert, and you guessed you shouldn't have been surprised that he was missing from the party.

The first to notice you had been Strider, who waved you over to where he and Aradia sat. When you approached, clearly saw the red solo cups sitting idly by on the table in front of them. Aradia had smiled at you and greeted you while Strider had pulled you onto the couch and put an arm around you. Clearly, he's already had a few shots, but not enough to impair his speech. Just enough to do things with much ease without having to second guess things too often.

"Kittykat, you made it~ You gotta try this drink, babe. It's fucking _lit._ A l l the sick irons in the fire." He had said, grabbing his red solo cup and handing it towards you. Inside was a pale yellowish liquid, almost colorless. You frowned at it before directing it towards Strider.

Aradia has gotten up to join Terezi and Serket on the table, figuring that she should probably leave the two of you alone. Fucking Strider who had probably made her uncomfortable by the overly flirtatious way he acted towards you at the moment.

"No, fuck you if you think I'm trying out whatever shit that's inside your disgusting cup, Strider." You had snapped at him, pushing his hand holding the cup away from your face. He chuckled and put it down on the table, pulling you closer.

"It's a party, Vantas. You should loosen up a bit more. You're like a wet towel that just ruins the whole pile of neatly folded dry towels. If that shit even makes sense. Like if-" He had told you, and just to satisfy his drunk ass, you snatched up the cup and took a short sip, making him stop his ramblings to grin at your action.

 _"Holy fucking shit, Strider._ Ugh, that is disgustingly sweet, what the fuck is that foul shit that you just called lit. Nothing about this is _lit._ It is the opposite of _lit."_ You had commented after tasting the liquid. It was overly sweet that it made your whole mouth dry after it went past your throat. You could sense a hint of apple in through drink, which is probably why he thinks it's so good. But fuck if you're ever taking another sip from that gross shit. Much less chug it like what Strider did when you handed it to him.

"C'mon, krabby. You should drink just enough to not even care about the taste at this point. You're kinda late to the party." He had urged you, standing up and pulling you up by your arm. He intended to take you to the table full of bottles of whatever shit Vriska and Terezi pulled out from the local liquor store, but you firmly planted your feet on the ground.

You may be a 'party pooper' or whatever lame shit he comes up with, but you are not going to drink to the point that your too fucking shit faced to even walk properly home. "No, fuck you. I'm not gonna get shit faced drunk." You had told him, the music changing to some loud rock song.

Unfortunately, Pyrope had herd and immediately grinned widely like a predatory shark that's found its prey. "Karkles! Geez, you're still so responsible!" She had called out to you from the table, while Serket had proceeded to annoy Rose and Kanaya, seemingly trying to get in between the two love birds.

"Shut the fuck up, Pyrope. Last time we had a _party,_ you got so fucking drunk on cherry sparkling wine, which isn't even that high on alcohol content until you dumped a whole ounce of vodka into it, you puked all over the goddamn toilet. After seeing that shit, it kinda discourages drinking for me." You had snapped at her with an eye roll. Sure, she was still your beloved flush crush, but you hated seeing her so blacked out drunk that time, so giving her a harsh lecture about it wasn't that hard for you to do.

"You don't _have_ to get drunk to that point, kit kit. A party at our age isn't complete without a little alcohol content in every drink." Strider had stated, heading towards Terezi to fill up his empty cup again.

"Okay, how about this, Karkles! I'll give you a small shot of a mild alcohol, and you need to chug it. After that, you can totally refuse to drink throughout the night!" She had offered you while she carefully picked a bottle from the many on a corner of the table. You rolled your eyes and followed Strider into the kitchen.

"Why do you think I'll trust whatever goddamn drink you give me?" You had retorted with yet another eye roll.

The short dark haired female gave you s side wards smirk and took a step closer, drink in hand. "You don't trust me, Karkles? We've known each other since you were an itty bitty wriggled!" She had teased, snickering as she put a hand on your shoulder and pressed up against you.

 _God_ _fucking damn it you know what she's trying to do, but **it still fucking works on you**_. The flush that spreads throughout your face was undeniable and you snatched the cup out of her fingers when she offered it to you. "Fuck if you think I'm gonna chug the whole goddamn drink. I'm only gonna take a sip."

You don't fucking know how Strider was suddenly beside you, hand on your hips, but you didn't really mind. You can bet on him being too drunk to even remember tonight by the time this party ends.

"Ah, c'mon Karkles! Chug it! Chug it!" She shouted enthusiastically, chanting out the words.

"Just chug it Vantas!" Serket had called out to you after hearing the beginning to chanting from everyone around you.

You put down your drink in the table just so you can flip her off with both hands. She simply cackled at the obscene gesture, throwing her head back.

"TZ! Pour me a cup too, Imma chug one too!" Harley that proposed, raising her hand cheerfully while Feferi giggled behind her as they both made their way to the table as well. Terezi happily obliged and gave her a full cup.

"Let's make this a competition now, guys! Gather around and place your bets!" Pyrope announced and everyone who still hasn't hooked up with one another approached. You gritted your teeth, even completely forgetting Strider's existence beside you.

"I'm putting all my goddamn money on Harley!" Vriska called out, pulling her wallet from her jeans and placing a full 100 dollars on the table nearby Jade. The round glasses wearing girl laughed, almost spilling her drink.

"I don't think this is wise." Kanaya spoke out with a frown, but was drowned out by everyone else's shouts and chanting of 'chug it'. Rose seemed to just look an used about everything, occasionally taking sips from her drink and looking buzzed as fuck.

"I'm putting my money on karkitty!" Nepeta called our, putting her whole wallet on the table.

"Fuck you all!" You shouted, taking the cup back into your hands.

"Okay competitors! I'll count to 3, and on 3, you can start chugging! Whoever finishes first wins!" Terezi shouted, acting like some big shot television host. "Everybody, count with me!"

" _1!_ "

" _2!_ "

" _3!!!_ "

Without any sort of hesitation, you took the cup and put it to your lips before throwing your head back and drinking the liquid inside. From the corner of your eye, you see Jade do the same and just because you're fired up at the moment, you flipped everyone in the room off for making your do this.

But half through the drink, you begin to utterly regret the decision because it's taste is absolute fucking _horrendous._ It had a bitter after taste with hints of some sort of sour fruit you can't quite place. It burned your throat when it passed through and left your whole mouth dry afterwards. _Why do people drink this shit for fun?!_

You manage to will power through it all, and finished the red solo cup, literally seconds before Harley does and slams the cup onto the table just moments after you did. "We have a winner!!!" Terezi announced loudly, now having a bottle in her hands and using it as some sort of imaginary mic. Not that she needed one, she's so fucking loud she even drowned out the loud music happening in the background.

You were still frowning at the whole ordeal when a wave of nausea hit you. _Hard._ "Terezi, what the _fuck_ was that drink you gave us?" You complained, coughing.

She cackled, while Vriska miserably handed her money to the exalted cat girl. "14% alcohol content. And you just chugged a whole cup of it." She had said in a cheerful manner.

_Fuck._

-


	7. Liquid Courage, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOFT CORE SMUT THAT'S NOT REALLY SMUT UPDATE IS HERE
> 
> Sorry guys, personal issues came up and I couldn't finish it earlier. 
> 
> Have fun~

It was all fun, at first. The drinking competition eventually evolved to beer pong with teams of two, and a tournament started up. The first round was won by the scourge sisters, with Rose who had tagged along with Harley, almost beating them. The second round was much more surprising, since Karkat had paired up with Leijon and the duo was actually doing fairly good with all the matches they were up against.

You on the other hand, had only participated in a few games as a replacement for Rose near the end when she did finally reach her limit and needed to be assisted to the washroom by Kanaya. Most of the time in the rounds, it was Rose consuming the alcohol, probably because she was confident in her abilities to withstand the alcohol content of all the beverages Terezi had bought from the local liquor store down the block.

Most of the time, you had watched from the sidelines, cup of apple cider in hand, watching the party chaos with an amused expression. You were never one to get blacked out drunk at parties, but you did participate enough to build enough of a tolerance to last for a while. It's mostly because you've seen what happens to Rose and to her mother whenever they do take a drink by themselves. They tend to lose control of their actions severely and ramble on and on about things they keep buried deep beneath if they drunk enough. The Lalondes were the depressing type of drunk when they're alone, but they tend to be quite wild at a party.

But for you though, you don't want to risk it at all. You don't know the full effects if you get super drunk enough that you don't remember the what happened the very next day. You're afraid of what you might do or what you might say during such a vulnerable time, when you're not in control. Losing control is something you're very terrified of, and messing up just once would be your worst nightmare.

 _That's never going to happen again._ You had repeated those words to you. And you plan to keep it that way.

The loud cheering of the crowd brought you back to the reality and away from your thoughts. Out of luck, the Leijon and Vantas won't the second tournament after Terezi's stomach finally gave up and she had to go to the washroom herself. Vriska had been confused about whether to continue the game by herself, or run after Pyrope, but in the end, she had chosen the latter option.

"Boo yeah! I told you we would win, Karkitty!" The feline troll had exclaimed, lightly punching him on the shoulder. Karkat had laughed in return, cheeks flushed slightly red from the ridiculous amount of liquor he had consumed at this point. You smiled faintly.

"Yeah, yeah. You did good." He had responded, trying to sound like he's not as happy about the victory as Nepeta was, but gave her a high five nonetheless.

"We made a bet, Karkitty! Where's my reward~?"

You perked up at the words, and it seems like so has everyone else. He rolled his eyes at the short black haired girl, though his smile had stayed on him for quite a while now. "I was hoping you would've fucking forgotten about that shit long ago." He answered, goofishly at first.

"You had that little faith in me?? I'm furry disappointed in meow!" Nepeta had retorted, faking a pout and crossing her arms on her chest before giggling. "C'mon, c'mon! It's just one!"

Again, the mutant blooded troll rolled his eyes. "Fuck it, go for it." He had stated simply, grinning and folding his arms in front of him.

It took you a split second to realize what was about to happen and without thinking about it, you were already on the move, coming up from behind the shorter troll. You had put a hand over his mouth just as Leijon was about to lean in for a kiss, effectively pulling him back and into your arms. Nepeta had playfully frowned up you. "Awe, please Dave? It's just one kiss?" She had asked with a playful smile, tail curling up and around behind her.

You purposely grinned a little mischievously while you tried to subdue Karkat, who was spewing out a string curses at you for covering his mouth. "Maybe sometime else, Nep. Gotta borrow lil nubs here for a sec." You had told her, already dragging him away from the crowd. You swear you heard Serket's whistle from somewhere but you didn't bother to look back and see.

Recklessly, you dragged him to a nearby bedroom you knew around the hallway. You had visited Terezi's house multiple times before so you've gotten to go around and explore most of it. You know where most rooms are, and you have no idea why, but your brain at the time looked specifically for a bedroom, when any room would've been fine, it's just the privacy that you needed.

The troll had thrashed around in your arms as you carried him down the hallways using one arm while you opened doors using the other. "Strider, _let me fucking go_! What the hell is your problem?!" He had shouted and resisted, but once you did find a bedroom, you immediately pulled him inside, slamming the door behind the two of you and pushing him up against the door, forearm pressing against the space around his collar bone to keep him pinned up onto the wall. He glared daggers at you as he roughly tried to pry your arm off of him using his two other free hands.

"Strider, what the fuck are you-" You didn't know what was going through your mind at the moment, but you just couldn't stand hearing his voice with that slurry tone at the end of every sentence. You couldn't stand hearing his voice, period. So, you shut him up yourself.

His lips easily gave way to yours, but you treated him far from gently. You pushed into him roughly, deepening and deepening the kiss , far from him even being prepared for it. He clawed at your arm and tried to push you away when he couldn't breathe anymore, but you had only pulled away for just enough time to take his wrists and pin his arms on either side of his head.

He had looked up at you, eyes hazy and half lidded and something virtually snapped inside you. "Strider-" You never let him get more than a single word out before you're right back to kissing him hard on the lips. Surprisingly enough, went still in your grasp and didn't hesitate to open his lips to give you passage into his mouth. Though you had been forceful and rough the first time around, the warmth of the kiss made you want to slow down and savor the moment for a few moments longer.

His resistance was gone by the time your tongue had intertwined with his, forcing you to tilt your head at an angle to avoid clashing your teeth with his fangs. You slowly loosened your grip around his wrists and he willingly wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling your head closer.

 

You had kept your eyes closed, moving your hands blindly down his back and resting at the waist where you could feel his belt through his sweater. The kiss got sloppier and messier the more you explored every inch possible and teased the top of his mouth by flicking your tongue upwards. He made small noises that was drowned out everytime you did it, and you loved hearing it.

You pulled him closer by his hips and lifted your knee in between his legs, earning a half yelp and half mewl from the nubby horned troll. The noise caught you off guard and you pulled away, only to have a string of saliva follow your lips and still connect the two of you. He was absolutely breathless, panting a bit as he had his arms wrapped loosely around your shoulders, leaning his weight towards you for support. You press him again down there and throws his head back to the wall, biting his lip as a light purr started up in the back of his throat. Human and troll biology is taught to you in school and sex ed has always been 60% more interesting because of it. And from what your drunken kind can remember, purring in trolls indicated trust in intimate situations such as this. Though it appears in Moirallegiance, it also tends to appear in matespriteship because trust in these situations is needed. This fact mattered very little to you at the at the moment.

You immediately swept him off his feet and carried him to the bed, laying him down gently before crawling on top of him and resuming the kisses, only this time, you directed them under his collar and on his neck. He runs his clawed fingers lightly through the lower half of your head, near your nape. You licked a particular spot just behind his ears before sucking on his tough grey skin, just long enough to leave a bruising mark. "U-un..." A soft subdued yelp escaped from his lips before he could bite down on his lips and prevent it from escaping.

Continuing with the little nibbling at his skin, you let your hands wonder a bit more, slowly moving away from his wrists. You let your fingers slip under his sweater, feeling the instant burning sensation of his skin under your finger tips. He makes little chirring noises as you traveled the palm of your hand farther up. You forgot what the noise was supposed to mean, but it seemed so insignificant to you at the moment. You simply kept up the tiny movements, letting your fingers brush against ridges against his sides and listening to him get caught between a gasp and a whiny sob.

He kept his mouth tightly shut, so you pulled away to push his sweater up, all the way until his whole torso was revealed. You notice that there were faint white lines around the sides of his stomach, some being cut short and hidden by his jeans. You touch one of the lines with your finger and he immediately flinched away, indicating that he didn't like that. You got him to relax again after a few petting of his hair, near the base of his horns.

Just as you started to undo his belt, he opens one of his eyes just slightly enough for you to ssee the glow of his eyes against the moonlight pouring in from the tall skinny windows on each side of the bed. "Wait, Dave-" He had whispered out just as you pulled the zipper of his jeans down, making him whimper and hide his face using his arms.

You froze on the spot, staring at his suddenly seemingly tiny form on the bed, hiding and trying to curl up into a safety ball despite having both of his legs on either side of you. _Fuck._

The realization hits you hard it almost makes you breathless. For the first time in all the time you've known him, he called you by your first name. Not Strider, like the formal way he usually says it. Distant and with a hint of annoyance. He had called you by your first name, low and slurry. Something about it felt more... Intimate in a way you didn't like at all. A wave of disgust and self hate suddenly waves over you and you had to wrap your arms around you.

 _You're absolutely disgusting._ You realize this now, feeling the sudden guilt of your actions. _He's drunk and this is how you fucking treat him? You're no better than him._

Vision becomes blurry and soon, you shut your eyes tightly and tried to keep your sobs in as much as you can with your hands.

You flinched away from the sudden light touch placed on the back of your neck, but you soon felt fingers tugging you down onto the bed again. You opened your eyes wide to mostly see tear stained shades, something the other party slipped off of you while you were still in current shock because he _took his shirt off._ More than that, _he's fucking shooshing you._

"Why... The fuck... Did you take your shirt off...?" You murmured quietly, more tears spilling at his unconsciously kind gesture to you. Hiccups escaped your mouth as her carefully patted your head like a good dog.

" 'st too hot.." He mumbled back in a slurry weak voice, still shooshing you and occasionally nuzzling his skin against your ears that were burning at this point.

He you cry throughout the night, not asking a single question, even though that's probably just because of the booze.

But you had cried yourself to sleep once again. This time, it was a little different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, most of this is unedited so there will be small grammar and sentence mistakes :") 
> 
> Also, sorry if the last few paragraphs of the chapter felt rushed. Like I said, personal issues arose :")


	8. The Most Natural Thing To Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it's short and if the update seems so late :") Personal problems rose again. 
> 
> Whoops.

There was a strong taste of something overly sweet in the back of your throat. It had the familiar hint of apples, but you had no idea where it came from. It was on your tongue, in your teeth, and at the top of your mouth. You could taste it anywhere you moved your tongue around your mouth.

Unsurprisingly, you had fallen asleep for another 2 hours again after you had just woken up with a splitting headache from a severe hangover after last night's hazy events. This time, you felt arms wrapped tightly around your waist when previously, you thought you were alone on the bed. Then again, when you woke up, you literally could not look around at all because every small movement made your head spin and bile rise up to your chest. It took a lot of strength not to stain Terezi's guest room bedsheets with gross alcohol vomit. Pretty sure that's an easy way to get banned from ever coming into her house again.

The headache that felt like someone was squeezing your thinkpan to death was still there, but you don't feel like throwing up every second you moved your eyes, which is a great relief to your poor throat that still feels dry from whatever that apple shit you tasted in your mouth as soon as you woke up. It takes quite a bit of effort on your part to move your number limbs one by one to take a peak at who exactly you're in bed with. You still remember Pyrope pressuring you into chugging down a high alcohol content drink last night, and though you felt woozy right after it, you kinda hoped it would be her. But just your luck, and something you probably expected in the back of your mind, it wasn't. Fair haired, knight in shining armor, Strider.

Though, it takes you a second glance to realize that his shades were off and he was sleeping peacefully and nuzzling his cheek into your bare shoulder.- Wait-

**_Why the fuck are you shirtless._ **

The sudden wave of nausea hits you again and you let out a low groan as you reached a hand to the bridge of your nose and lightly pinched, trying not to poke your eyes out with your claws. You felt the human shift his position just slightly, seemingly moving closer to cuddle with you.

And _holy fuck his skin in fucking ice cold_. If you didn't know any better, you would've thought a dead corpse was cuddling close to you instead. The morning was pleasantly cool today, so the problem of overheating in such close body contact wasn't a problem at all. What you did have a problem with was the natural biological body heat spreading throughout your body at the realization that your back was pressed against his back, and oh god he feels so much more real than before. This whole thing feels so much more real than anything else the two of you had done before. Your problem; You shouldn't feel like the sun's summer heat was directly upon you when a clearly cool summer breeze came in from the opened window above the bed and dark clouds were slowly gathering in the sky, getting ready to swallow up the sun in a few hours. _You shouldn't feel worked up over this._

You momentarily forget about the headache crushing your head bit by bit while you breathlessly stare at his shadeless face, unaware of the loud pounding of your own heart. Unaware of the flush across your cheeks.

The small noise you had made from the pain of the hangover had woken the beast, making him shift uncomfortably in his place beside you and groggily open his tired eyes to look at yours.

Sure, you've admitted before that his body was desirable from a few glances at his fitted white button up shirt and his smooth dark blue uniform dress pants. His hair was easily noticeable in a crowd and his face structure was strikingly much more pleasant to look at than others. But you had always thought that his obnoxious aviator shades totally broke the spell of the over all allure he held himself to. Hell, even his over confidence was fucking admirable, but he had always seemed like an ignorant douche to you with the way he moved and the way he stood with his posture.

But to you, the most breath-taking thing about a person were their eyes. One of the reasons you had fallen so hard for Terezi was not particularly because of the appearance of her eyes. There's just something striking about there red pools of her eyes whenever she takes her shades off, that just always seemingly sees through you despite everything. Despite being blind. A person's etes can tell you everything about them and their very personal feelings just by observing them. You guessed that maybe, that was one of the reasons you hated Strider. He hides himself so well while wearing a mask of over confidence and 'coolness'. He's lying to himself, and something about that... Triggers you so much.

But now... All of your views of him is being challenged.

With half lidded eyes, impossibly bright ruby orbs stared back at you. Your chest tightens at the sight because they're so fucking beautiful, but they held a tired and worn out quality to them. For the first time, you're seeing the rawest version of Dave, and something about it scares and excites you at the same time. It felt like an eternity when you finally exhaled the breath you were holding in.

His tired eyes stared seemingly past you, like he can't focus his vision just yet, and he kept squinting just the slightest bit. His eyes were sunken and that was all you needed to know that he clearly doesn't get enough sleep that to be a healthy human being. But somehow, that doesn't take away from the unique type of beauty he held. Somehow... It enhances it? Like a well aged antique furniture a stupid person would pay millions for. And that stupid person might as well be you.

Freckles were littered all across his nose and the corners of his eyes before slowly fading and moving far apart from each other the more they went down his face. It wouldn't have been noticeable to anyone that he had freckles at all because most of his shades would've covered that up too. You had unconsciously started counting each small freckle on his cheeks as you stared more at his face, unable to really year your gaze away from his.

Now, you think you understand what it means to feel forever in a single moment. Because as as long as it felt like his eyes were opened and staring at you, the spell was broken when he closes his eyes again and lifts his head to hide his face from the light in the crook of your neck.

Everything you thought about him is being challenged. And you're not sure it's a completely bad thing at this point.

-

He never mentioned anything about it again, and something about it makes you feel a particular kind of disappointment. It meant that he doesn't remember the small moment you shared, the small moment you thought you felt a connection. You had simply lain there, on the bed, completely still in his arms as he shifted more throughout the morning, still in the prison of sleep. You couldn't forget how intricately detailed his eyes were and you kept glancing back at him, hoping you'd catch another glimpse of his beautiful eyes. You can't deny the stirring in your chest when you saw them, and you've defeatedly admitted to yourself that you'd like to his eyes again.

When you heard him yawn from behind you, you had pretended to still be asleep with a faked pained expression on your face while he finally rose from the bed. You remember footsteps lazily dragging themselves around the carpeted floor. You knew he was looking for his shades and the urge to peak in on him and see his eyes again was almost overwhelming. But you kept yourself together and hid under your blankets. Though, to your surprise, he stayed around in the room and took his previous spot behind you, seemingly awaiting for you to wake up. Your stomach turned at the thought and you couldn't find yourself to move a single muscle at his presence beside you.

But with your utterly tensed up muscles and inability to move naturally caught his attention sooner rather than the later you were hoping for. "I know you're awake. You should probably try harder next time. You look more like a dead corpse than a normal sleeping being."

You immediately turned to look at him by craving your neck towards him, refusing to fully give him your whole attention yet. You regretted that quick movement as another wave of vomit inducing nausea hit you.

What's more perplexing to you though, is the strange feeling of rejection and disappointment when you see his pair of shades propped up on the bridge of his nose again. Like a sinking feeling that starts at the middle of your chest before slowly moving through your stomach and to the very pits of your guts. Unconsciously, you had been excited to see his face again, unobstructed by his obnoxious aviators.

You were wrong.

-

One glance at his face told you everything's wasn't right. There was some sort of unexplainable disappointment in his frown, unlike the usual animosity quality it held. You had reached out your hand to brush his forehead, and somehow wipe that bothersome crease away in his brows, but you stopped when his eyes dilated at the action. You retracted your hand away from him and continued to simply look through your instagram feed, internally shaking your head at the shit your other friends got up to while you were gone.

Eventually, his silence began to bother you again so you had decided to be the first one to mention it. "You're not gonna ask me why you're shirtless? Or why you woke up next to me?"

The only indication you got that he heard your question was the slight tensing up of his shoulders as he hugged his pillow close to his face. Another wave of sullen silence settled between the two of you before he finally decided to answer to you. "No Stridouche. I know you're not that type of asshole." He had responded quietly, voice hoarse and low with a cat like growl quality to them.

The unexpected reply got you to look dumbfoundedly at his small frame, exposed grey skin and dark hair contrasting greatly with the white sheets you are both currently occupying. "What...?" Lame response, you know, but you weren't quite sure and you needed to confirm. The two of you have only hung out for almost a month and most of them were simple casual talk, so how would he really know how you would've reacted to an easy vulnerable score?

There was A long and exaggerated sigh from the other party before he finally spoke his mind. "You're not that kind of asshole. Sure, you're a big fucking douche bag that doesn't know how much his every action affects a person, but you're an oblivious asshole. From everything I've observed from you in the past weeks, you're not actively a shallow dick as you portray yourself to be with your kickass shades, unbuttoned blazer, and loosed button up shirt. You dress up like a bad boy player, Strider. Act like it around people too. Flirtatious cunt. But you're not an asshole who would do that kind of shit to someone who can't think for them self at the moment. If you are, why the hell are you still here, accompanying a still vulnerable and hungover person like me?"

You simply stared at him, feeling your heart race rapidly at the words that tumbled out softly out of his mouth. He doesn't remember last night and what you almost did. He doesnt remembee your sad and pathetic crying. You didn't expect him to anyway. But the amount of trust he's placing on you... the amount of trust he's placing that you didn't do anything stupidly shitty to him while he was shit faced drunk...- And to think you almost broke that last night-

Your breath hitched and a loud ringing noise in your ears starts up again. He raises a hand and blindly offer it to you without looking. It takes you a moment to finally get your eyes to focus, and you had to turn your face away and cover your mouth, trying your best not to make a sound.

But you take his hand and clasp it tightly in yours. And your perfectly aware of how shaky your hands feel, and you're sure he took a peak at you, but you couldn't let him see your face.

Gladly, he doesn't ask you if you're okay or not. The two of you just sit in silence, holding hands like it was the most natural thing to do. After all, the two of you are still in a relationship, right?


	9. Hella Jeff, the Red Nosed Reinbear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the massive delay for the next chapter :") Had to study majorly for finals and I only recently took a break to finally finish the chapter and publish it. I hope you guys for give me >~<

The relationship and the atmosphere between the two of you keeps changing so often. After the party at Pyrope's, he had kindly driven you home. Only a few guests from last night were still around in the morning, and most of them were pretty expected. Eridan and Sollux were one of the most sober ones, considering that they disappeared before the party really went wild last night. Kanaya was hovering over Rose, providing her with water, aspirin, and loving head massages on the couch. The unexpected pair were Jade and Feferi, both still passed out on the floor, cuddling like little dogs. You heard from Terezi that Tavros had woken up earlier and dragged Gamzee out to drive back home while he was still half asleep, so they also stayed around for the night, just not long enough for anyone else to see them before they went.

The house was literally reeking of alcohol and medicine that morning, as well as suffocating lovey dovey shit from all the matespritships around. Vriska literally had to take Terezi upstairs for some quality pale time after shouting at Ampora and Captor to not fuck right on her couch. To which they both responded to with a middle finger while eating each other's faces. Rose and Kanaya on the other hand, were less hormonal and more like an old married couple, simply lost in their own little private corner, purposely oblivious to everyone else.

All the sappy shit probably went to Strider's head as well, because he seemed to forget that the two of you were in a fake matespritship. His attitude towards you that morning after coping just enough to stand get out of bed was usually touchy feely and affectionate. He literally could not fucking leave you alone and you swear you almost clawed at his face if it wasn't for his fast reflexes and more sober state than you. Before, your actions towards each other were just friendly, with every intimate touch followed by a quiet inquiry of 'is this okay?' With a simple look or gesture. He always asked for your permission if he wasn't just playing around or teasing you. Like walking around the halls while you held hands, or sometimes awkward cuddling whenever the mood for it felt right. He was careful with you, grip always gentle and loose.

But he was like a fucking leech that morning. He was persistent at keeping _some_ part of the two of you linked or touching somehow. He would always hug your from behind, tightening his grasp and pulling you back to him when you tried to escape with your coffee. He would lean his head your shoulders, and when you moved away or shrugged him off, he would purposely fall sidewalks on the couch, where you previously sat at, before crawling over and resting his head on your lap till you decide to shove him off the entire couch and not just his head.

Maybe the words you spoke to him while the two of you were on the bed were to soft. Though it was true. He was still fully clothed and as far as you can tell, all he did to your jeans was pull down the zipper and that's it. You could guess what went down last night, probably some regrettable make out session, which is unfortunate for you because that's probably the first time you've ever kissed someone. Well, since you don't even remember anything about it, you won't count it. You don't really want to dwell on what Strider did last night, and what you let him do to you in your drunken state. It's... An uncomfortable imagery in your mind and something about the lack of consent makes your stomach turn. This is one of the reasons you don't want to get drunk like that at parties. You've heard from some of your brother's friends' horror story with dubious consent at parties and the immediate regret that comes afterward when they do eventually remember.

Anyway, getting off topic. Strider was certainly acting strange because despite your cold and harsh behavior towards his overly affectionate actions, he had asked you out to another date as a follow up on your previous date at a shitty location called McDonald's. Thinking back to it made a question pop back into your mind. "Who else have you brought to a fucking fast food chain as a first date?" You had randomly inquired as a response to his offer.

He stared at you, or at least you assume he did from the slight shifting of his head towards you, head still leaning against your shoulder. You've given up after the past 2 hours of trying. "If you really wanna know my track record, I brought Jade to Burger King, John to Dunkin Donuts, Aradia to a Starbucks, Jane to a Taco Bell, Terezi to-"

You stopped him before he could list more of his exes and a bunch of surprisingly suitable fast food chains that compliments or lowkey insults their personalities. "Wait, you seriously never treated any of your dates to cliched romance film activity?" You had blurted out, taking a break from sipping your cup. The two of you mutually agreed that you'd leave the house later, when you don't feel like throwing up once you're in a moving vehicle. It's the same thing for Rose and Kanaya too.

He furrowed his brows but smiled slightly at you, voice almost a laugh coming out of his mouth. "Who do you think I am? Do I look like some rich kid with a mother who's a successful wine connoisseur? I just live in a shitty apartment on the-" You widened your eyes a bit at the fact that he mentioned something about his home, but before he could finish his sentence, he immediately shut his mouth and stared straight at the white light filtering in through the windows behind the large flat screen television.

You didn't bother prying for more information, because from everything you've heard so far, his home life is a private and sensitive topic to him. You had just let him lean his weight against yours, watching the curtains lightly flutter around as a warm breeze enters the house.

-

The second date the two of you had set up was at arcade. You had dressed casually, plain black shirt with an unzipped hoodie over top, fitted dark wash jeans and worn out sneakers. He told you that your meeting spot would be at the street corner near the cafe you worked at around noon that Saturday.

Spotting him from afar was easy, with his flashy shades that reflected the sun's rays, plain red shirt with the school's varsity jacket overtop, ripped jeans, and a hipsterish tuque like those you've seen in pinterest way too many times. He grinned at you and greeted you with a two finger salute. You return his with a mild mannered nod his way before turning around and proceeding in the direction of the arcade.

He caught up with your pace, putting both hands into his jacket pockets, before lightly and purposefully bumping into you just to catch your attention. "You're Mr. Grumpy Grey Pants today."

His playful nicknames are countered with a deadly glare from you, something he easily brushes off, walking an inch closer to you, shoulders and arms barely touching each other. "Shut the fuck up, shit head. Are you color blind? I'm not wearing grey pants today, dumbass."

He simply chuckles in response to your cold hearted reply, adjusting his shades on the bridge of his nose a bit. After seeing his startlingly clear red eyes that Saturday morning, you can't help but imagine them everytime you're made aware of the shades sitting atop the bridge of his nose. You quickly look away from his face when you notice him make the slightest head movement indicating that he was glancing back at you again. "Were you staring at me just now, Vantas? What do you think? Too fucking gorgeous to exist?" He rambles on conceitedly, while you kept your head down, avoiding looking up at his surely smugly smirking face.

The arcade was always lit up with wild neon colors and signs, something that reminds you of something out of the 1980s. Without so much as a heads up, Strider grabs your hands and starts leading you all around the area. Apparently, he used to often come around here when he was younger, but as always, he tends to just suddenly pause and change the topic when the comes to his childhood past. "Damn, good thing nothing much has changed in here for the past 6 years. The old tokens I have stored in my junk closet still works." He had said with a light chuckle, as he input the tiny copper coin into the slot of a whack-a-hole arcade game.

Before pressing the start button of the game, he pointed to the front of the desk where all sorts of prizes can be exchanged for tickets. "My goal for today, is to win enough tickets to get you something from the front desk." He said somewhat smugly. You quirk ed an eyebrow at him once your turned back towards him after taking a short glance at the many accessories and toys available on their shelves.

Oh, if it's gonna be like that, you're gonna make sure it's extra hard for him. "Yeah, Stridouche? Anything I fucking want from there?"

He grinned mischievously, clearly already knowing what you had in mind, yet still asking anyway. " _Hell fucking yes._ Challenge me, Vantass. You want the most expensive shit there is here, right?"

You grinned. "I wanna see you fucking try. But for now, I do have something pretty expensive I'd like for you to get for me."

He raises an eyebrow at that. "What is it?"

"2500 tickets. The biggest motherfucking crab stuffed toy at the very top of the shelf."

The fair haired male grinned. "You're on." He said with a hint of smugness in his voice as he hit the start button on the arcade game.

-

"100'000. You got the highest score, beating the previous one." You said, looking dumbfoundedly at the top of the arcade game that showed off in orange block letters the score he got. Yellow colored tickets was still pouring out of the mouth of the arcade machine, making a long pile at the dirty carpeted floor. " _And you decided to name yourself dickdaddy_."

He simply shrugged, frowning lightly at the stack of tickets on the floor once it finally stopped spewing out the shit ton of tickets. "Goddamn it, this arcade's a fucking cheapskate. This shit's gotta be only... 100 to 120 tickets at most. No wonder 11 year old me was so broke even after getting his payday money from delivering newspaper around the neighbourhood."

"How many fucking times have you even been here to properly gauge how many fucking tickets you get after clearing the entire game?!" You practically shouted, which wasn't much of a big deal considering it's actually pretty fucking loud around here with all the gaming noises and loud crowd chatter everywhere. It's kind of ironic that you hate loud places like this but you're hella loud qqyourself when it comes to talking.

He shrugged again. "Like I said, I came around here often. But I haven't been here with someone for a long while now. Not since 6 years ago." He replied casually, before walking off to play another arcade game once he has put away all the tickets into his varsity jacket pocket, a few stacks still poking out.  
  
He leads you all around for while, trying to pick out another game worth spending time in. You played some fighting games, with Strider beating your ass because he's a big fucking cheater that corners you and uses the same damn attack so that you can't escape or counter attack. After a session of various other games like racing games, platformers, air hockey, and any other shit either of you found interesting, the two of you had sort of made the whole thing a competition at this point. Like, who can win the most arcade games against the other in all of the many different machines they have around the establishment.

You've found out some surprising weaknesses to Strider, mainly the fact that he sucks at shooter games. And when you say he sucks, you mean his abilities are _literally below average_. It's one of the few games that was actually really easy for you to beat him in. You would've thought that with the speed and amazing reflexes he has when he played that whack-a-mole arcade machine, he would've had better precision at a shooter. He says that he just sucks at depth perception inside video games compared to real life, but you like to believe that even a Strider like him can't be all perfect. But it seems that he actually really sucks at being patient too. This, you found out when you gave him a goal to get at least 5 stuffed animals from the claw machine you two stumbled upon while randomly walking around. He tends to hit the down button far too early and he ends up missing the one he was going after. You found his attempts hilarious and the way he would just curse under his breath when he finally got frustrated. So, you made it 10x more harder by making him get specific ones for you. He eventually ran out of tokens but he refused to admit defeat and bought some more to try and try again. 

You've never seen this side of him. Being genuinely frustrated at something he can't easily achieve so you let yourself enjoy the view a little, no matter how wrong that sounds in your head. You'll be tone deaf to your over critical self for once, and maybe even just this once, because something about knowing that he's human and that he's not completely shallow makes you feel lighter on the inside.

The way his brows furrow just a bit more than usual, slightly puffing his cheeks out before letting out a sigh, the way his straight as a ruler mouth slowly curves downwards, a little bit of teeth showing, a little bit of biting at the corner of his mouth, the way he looks so concentrated at the simplest things in life. It's too fucking hilarious, but endearing in some ways, to you.

"Okay douche bag, move aside. You're gonna watch an expert do this shit right, so better have your fucking pen and paper and start taking notes." You said playfully time him, pushing him aside and taking his spot. You hear him sigh from behind you but you ignore his less than enthusiastic response. You're gonna school him so fucking hard. And that was a really lame ass thing to say inside your head. Yeah, you're definitely gonna have to forget about that phrase.

"Give it a try, mcshouty." He said, and you know that slight arrogant quality to his tone of voice. He puts down a token on the ledge of the arcade machine and you use it to start up the claw machine.

You were aiming for the emoji stuffed toy with its unironic sunglasses, but you were a little off the mark and landed instead right on top of a small brown bear with a weird decorative red nose. You decided to just go with it and act like that was what you were aiming for in the first place. You move the claw across carefully, and once you're convinced that it's right on top of the teddy bear, you hit the button that makes it dive down and pick up the desired item. You would never admit it, but your heart was pounding loudly inside your chest the moment the claw machine latched onto the brown teddy bear's head and slowly glided across to the big box that drops down to the small opening flap just below the ledge where the controls are.

You grinned triumphantly when it made it safely across without dropping the stuffed toy and into the box. You bend down to retrieve it and immediately shoved it in Strider's face. "Ha! I fucking told you I'd get it." You said smugly.

He chuckles lightly at your enthusiasm over winning a small teddy bear with a red nose. "You were totally aiming for the emoji one with shades but fucked up just a little. Imma have to dock you -10 cool points for that bro." He countered with a sly grin of his own sent your way.

Pursing your lip, you pushed the stuffed toy onto his face, semi suffocating him with its petite brown body. "No I wasn't. I was totally aiming for this one from the very begining because you wouldn't expect it."

The two of you playfully struggle with each other for a little bit, with you constantly annoying him by pushing the teddy bear onto his face and rubbing your victory, literally, in his face.

He grabs your wrist, the one that's holding the teddy bear, and lifts it up over your head before pushing you against the arcade machine with his free hand and conviently trapping you when he stepped forward. "Do I get to keep the teddy bear and name him hella Jeff, the red nosed reinbear?" He said mischievously, and you fight the blush making its way to your face.

"Oh, fuck no, fuck ass. You are not going to name that teddy bear after one of your shitty ass sbahj comic characters."

He chuckles, and before he could say something good to counter your claim, he freezes up in place when he raised his head and turned to the side. You followed his gaze, and not far from the two of you were Serket and John. They were at the end of the aisle of arcade games lined on either side, and they were holding hands. John seemed a bit taken a back while Serket was only starting to take notice of the two of you. Out of pure instinct, you ripped your hand from Strider's grasp and pushed him away from you, something he didn't put much of a struggle against considering he was too busy looking distressed at having run into Egbert.

They approached the two of you, Vriska having let go of John's hand in favor of crossing her arms and grinning slyly at the two of you. "Lookie who we found on a date of their own. Strider. Vantas." She said, nodding to each of you in acknowledgement.

John smiles kindly and sort of... Awkwardly waves towards Strider, who was still looking a little anxious, posture changing from one of confidence to hiding his hands inside his pockets and acting cool and casual, with that sort of 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. "Hi Dave. I haven't seen you around lately."

The fair haired blonde sort of smirks, a very subtle upwards quirk of his lips. "Yeah... You know, been kinda busy back at home." He said in a casual tone, before turning to Vriska. "You guys staying around here for long?"

Vriska nodded, continuing to brag about her own stack of tickets she won and comparing it to Strider's, when you silently notice John staring at the stuffed animal you were holding onto in your one hand. He seems to smile fondly for a moment before raising a finger and trying to jump into the conversation him and Vriska were having. "Hey, Dave that reminds me-"

"-We're actually supposed to go to our next destination right about now. See you guys around." He suddenly piped up, completely cutting off and ignoring John before he grabbed your hand and started dragging you along past the two of them. You tried to pull away from him and ask him what he was doing, but you have to admit, you didn't put up much of a struggle against him. Something about that meeting was tension filled and it made you uncomfortable. You looked back and saw for a split second, that Vriska seemed to be comforting John with a friendly hand on his shoulder while he shook his head, a sad smile painted on his face, before Strider turned a sharp corner and they were out of your sight.

-


	10. Deeper Than Expected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back! XD Finals are almost over guys. Expect more updates!
> 
>  
> 
> You should also listen to Affection by cigarettes after sex for the more sensual part of the chapter XD It sets the mood and tone.

 He had dragged you all across the crowd in quite the hurry, his grip seemingly tightening until it actually started to make your wrists feel a bit numb. But it didn't last very long, because pretty soon, the two of you were outside of the dark room, bathing you in the bright yellow glow of the sun. It felt like it hadn't been that long since you entered the arcade with Strider, but it seems a little more than w hours had passed. When you checked your phone, it told you that the time was already 3, nearing 4 in the afternoon, with the sun nearly setting in the horizon. Pocketing the device quickly, you look over at Strider who was pacing the concrete floor, hands moving around fairly restlessly. He couldn't seem to stand still, hands on his hips, before Pocketing them in his jacket and nervously moving them around inside, to playing with the zipper of his varsity jacket.

"What the fuck was that about, Strider?" You asked him kind of exasperately, frowning at him. He still looked a little distressed, and something about it feels really worrying, despite everything else.

He doesn't answer you and simply sit down on the curb, seemingly pulling something from the pocket of his jeans. You carefully approached him, taking a sit beside him, ad watched what it was he was doing with his hands now. You immediately frowned at what he was doing.

Strider was opening a pack of cigarettes and slowly pulling a piece, before taking out a lighter from inside his varsity jacket. You immediately snatched the lighter off of his hands and pocketed it into your own hoodie pockets, before turning towards him and almost giving him a Kankri worthy lecture about smoking. Actually, your views on smoking and caution against getting drunk was probably influenced a whole lot by Kankri, actually. You remember him talking fondly about a lived one who used to smoke, before negative effects began to take their toll on a troll, just like they do to humans. Sure, the effects aren't as critical in humans, but that just makes things worse for Strider, who you didn't know took occasional smokes to calm down.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Do you wanna die?" You questioned quite a bit harshly, glaring at the cigarette still sitting in between his lips. He simply stares back you, blank faced as usual aside from his raised eyebrows visible above his obnoxious shades.

Then, the only response you got was a bland shrug. "I don't know really know either. Just needed a break, I guess. I honestly don't know about anything anymore. " He said with a sigh, leaving the unlit cigar on his mouth and simply leaning backwards, putting his weight on his arms and staring blankly at the orange filled sky.

"Just, I dont like seeing you develop bad habits like that." You sighed as well, doing the same and copying his relaxed pose. He looks over at you with a seemingly surprised expression before looking back up at the vast sky above. He doesn't say anything about you statement and both of you stay silent for a long while, until you finally decide to ask the question that's running around inside your thinkpan.

"Why did you suddenly leave when John and Vriska came along anyway? I mean, you don't have to tell me or anything like that, it's none of my fucking business, I know, but like, I'm just curious." You inquired a little quietly, glancing his way from the corner of your eyes.

He turns his head you way, and you look at your reflection in his shades as he talks, trying to see through the dark tinted glasses. "It's only natural that you'd be curious about me. I mean, we are dating afterall, right?"

You froze for a moment at the statement. 'Fake dating', you had wanted to correct, but that wouldn't be entirely right anymore. Afterall, the entire goal of this procedure is to make either one of you fall in love with each other, effectively being the victim. So... What if one of you had grown fond of each other? Would this be called an actual relationship? What even defines 'dating' and 'being a couple'? What does that even mean anymore? People can be in a relationship precisely just because of convenience. Then, what about love? What would you call people who are together for love? The word relationship is too fluid. _Fake dating... Dating afterall... Boyfriends..._ -

"Karkat?" The fair hair had called out to you, effectively snapping you out of your deep thought at the moment. You forced a smile and chuckled despite yourself.

"Yeah. Definitely."

-

In the end, you didn't find anything more about Strider. You got too caught up in on yourself and your own situation that you totally forgot to care about the John situation thingy. Still, you're curious as to what happened and why Strider has been avoiding school. So, in an attempt to be brave and bold, you had invited him over your place to watch some movies together, but your ultimate goal for this movie date night is to coax him to tell you more about himself. You shouldn't care, but you thought that getting him to trust you like he trusted John would a great way to slowly lure him into falling in love with you more. If he isn't already.

You're totally not doing this for yourself. Nope. This is all a ploy to win the game you got coerced into. For a few weeks there, you forgot what your real goal is. But now, you're back on track. You can't self indulge anymore, it's time to get serious.

-

Sunday night was the planned meet up at your house. Gladly, your dad was currently out on a graveyard shift that night so he won't be coming back home until the morning.

Strider was actually quite punctual and arrived 10 minutes earlier than the set time you both agreed on, but you really had zero complaints about that. "Damn. I didn't expect you to move fast, Kittykat. Already inviting me for some Netflix and chill?" He had tauntingly said as he strolled inside your house after he took his shoes off. You simply rolled your eyes at his usual antics.

"Yeah right, fuck face. I'm not touching your filthy ass human skin at all during this movie session." You had retorted, moving over to the couch and retrieving the remote to open it up. He leisurely followed after you, taking a gander around your fairly spacious living room for a moment.

"Guess we should watch some horror then. What do you think, Krabby?" He suggested with a sly ass smirk. He takes a sit in the middle of the couch, already taking a relaxed pose and taking up half of the space on the three seater couch. You strolled into the kitchen to microwave some popcorn, dutifully ignoring the way his eyes seemed to follow you around in your home clothes. A black shirt and loose fitting shorts. He's got a long sleeved sweater on, with the usual vinyl design on the middle.

Once you've got that shit set up, you return to the living room while you wait for for the 5 minutes for the popcorn to pop. You open Netflix, and start scrolling through the many movies available, before randomly choosing a romcom. You glance over at Strider, who was chuckling quietly at your choice of movies.

"Shut the fuck up, asshat. You're not getting _any_ tonight. I'm too sober for that shit." You snapped over at him, taking a seat on the very farthest edge of the couch, trying to avoid the blonde as much as possible.

He forced a cracked laughter before staying quiet all throughout the opening credits of the movie after your joking statement. This prompted you to glance his way from there corners of your eyes. He was silently chewing on his lip nervously, eyes staying on the screen ahead, seemingly too afraid to take a look at you. Your heart pounded at the sudden realization that you had just said something that touched on a sensitive topic for the both of you. You clearly had meant it as a joke, but perhaps it's way too early to be making jokes about that certain situations the two of you ended up in just recently.

You had promptly stood up after it and waited in the kitchen for while until the popcorn finally finished. You poured the whole bag into a large bowl before returning to your seat, hoping that things have cooled off a little with Strider.

You popped a few pieces of pop corn into your mouth, trying your best to furtively look at the fair haired male without seeming too obvious. You eventually offered some to him, and the two of you ate in silence as the movie progressed. You had spent an hour and a half trying to build up courage to voice your concerns, but in the end, you fucked up right off the bat and killed your self esteem. You felt too nervous to ask any questions, and the movie seemingly ended in a blink of an eye. You internally cursed at yourself, literally verbally abusing yourself for the 1000th time in your entire life time.

And while you were too busy doing that, Strider had turned to stare at you for a little while, seemingly expectant of something. To makes even more awkward, it took you a while to actually notice him staring at your direction, and you tried your best to fight the flush rising to your cheeks from embarrassment. You're an absolutely shitty host. "What?"

"Are we gonna watch a second movie or are you gonna kick me out? I didn't want to interrupt you because you seemed in really deep thought." He had a answered somewhat casually.

Biting your lip, you reached out to the remote and started aimlessly browsing through the many selection of movies, getting lost in thought again.

Then, the blonde says something that absolutely catches you off guard and focus solely on him.

-

Ever since you had left the arcade with him yesterday, he seems to be more cautious around you, often having that blank expression in his eyes that you've learned to connect with as his 'thinking face'. Another rare side of the troll that you've never seen before. You don't like admitting it to yourself, but you've grown concerned over the course of the time you walked him back home. He seemed to be in a zombie like state, barely registering your good bye to him when you led him up to his porch and he entered his house. He had completely ignored your existence.

And even now, his uncharacteristic silence is making your stomach twist in ugly ways that makes you utterly nervous. You had tried to keep things light when he invited you to a movie date at his home, and even when you first entered his home, you had cracked up jokes in hopes of getting him to have banters with you again. Sure, it's only been a whole day since he has exhibited unusual behavior, but you've always been the one to be overly paranoid in the family.

You can guess as to why he's behaving in a seemingly unresponsive way. And you can guess from his tense shoulders and protective stance on the couch, you've made him uncomfortable with the way you reacted to something he previously said before the start of the movie. The two of you can't avoid the topic much longer. After what happened at the party and the serious consequences it could've posed, especially with the type of fragile relationship the two of you are in, you'll have to tell him eventually. All you're doing right now is stalling for time. Jade has told you about how Karkat had approached her about the topic of you disappearing for a full week and how worried he seemed, unlike his 'I don't give a single fuck about your existence' attitude.

When she had first initially told you about you, something about it had made you inexplicably happy, but you never expressed this to anyone else, keeping all of your inner monologue, well,- inside. It's so strange. You haven't felt like you wanted to see every side of a person since John. You're not sure how to deal with your emotions, considering how things ended up with your ex best bro. You're not sure if you're ready to deal with all the heartache of being a teenager in love again.

But it's unfair to Karkat to keep him worried every time you sudden disappear without a single word. You gritted your teeth together and pushed your voice out of your mouth, enunciating every word painfully. Once again, you're glad for your shades that hide your eyes and about 90% of your emotions.

"You're free to ask me anything. But I can't guarantee you a full answer."

Just a little. You'll open the door just a little.

-

You stared at him blankly for a moment before turning to stare down at your hands holding the remote and twiddling with your fingers for a moment, trying to rack your brain for a well constructed question. "... What happened between you and Egbert that makes you look so distressed?" Was what you ended up asking, looking up at him with your eyes but keeping your head cast down nervously. You can tell that the atmosphere had become heavy and the tension began to grow thick around the both of you. The silence was practically unbearable and you can hear a faint ringing inside your ears with how quiet everything is around your home.

It takes him a while to answer, and he even moves back to the opposite side of the couch to lean his head back and hug one of the throw pillows sitting on the floor. He throws his head back across the armrest, shades still surprisingly staying intact. His hair fell around his face in an unnatural manner, something you thought actually looked pretty good on him. "It's a long and complicated story. But basically, I've known ever since I was young, that I was actually attracted to guys." He starts in a hushed tone. The difference in octave from his usual voice makes your heart pound.

"Okay, so... You're gay? Why date a bunch of girls then?" You has asked as a follow up question and he raises his head for a moment to frown at you, before ultimately returning to his position and staring at the other side of the wall upside down.

"It's complicated shit. Just... I grew up in a particular area that wasn't very kind to people like that. Sure, because of trolls and their very known pansexuality, people are a lot more accepting. But that's because of the fact that trolls can still get attracted to the opposite gender and somehow, that makes it easier for people to accept them? For humans to accept them. I, on the hand,- can't feel attraction at all for the opposite gender. And that's seen as something disgusting from where I grew up in." He continued, sounding detached to his own story, which made you frown in slight concern. It feels like he's talking about someone else, stating things more as fact rather than personal experience.

"Thing is, I've been friends with Egbert since I was 12 and we met on an online site. He's been with me for years and he tries to comfort me when... Things get rough." He continued, voice slowly becoming hushed again, that you strain to hear the words he says for a moment. "Complicated things happened,- and basically, he cut ties with me for a few months. And I was completely alone again. I can't blame him though. I'm disgusting. And I know you're gonna say the clichéd bullshit everybody says. Especially Rose. ' _You're not. You're worth it_.' Seriously, if you knew everything you'd stop talking to me too." He said, begining to talk in a fast paced way, seemingly like he was on one of his long convoluted analogies and random ramblings again.

You couldn't muster to say anything. You couldn't even muster to pull yourself out of the cold numbness that has washed over you. It felt like freezing ice water was just dumped over your head. "He stopped talking to you...?" It was the bare minimum that you're able to accomplish with what little energy you have left. You can't see his expression, his face still completely upside down on the armrest of the couch.

There was a long pause, and all you could hear was your own heart beat. John cut all ties with him? Why? Because Strider probably liked him back in that way, and he didn't? That's- that's- 

**_That's really fucking cruel._ **

To be subjected to loneliness for such a stupid reason- you can't even fathom it. A boiling anger slowly rose up to your chest. You can only guess what he hides under all the jackets and long sleeves he wears. You should know. You've had first hand experience with self hatred after all.

"Strider, tell me! Did he seriously just fucking cut you off of his life because of something stupid like that?! I-"

"You want to try kissing?"

You froze on the spot at the sudden question. He raises his head from the arm rest, biting his lip nervously again with a pained expression hidden by his shades. His eyes, bright ruby red, flashed before your memory and you could only imagine the distressed way his eyes would crease after revealing so much, yet so little at the same time. Your breath hitches and you feel numb all over again.

"Strider-"

" _Please_."

The crack in his voice felt heavy on your chest. He wants you to shut up.

After a long while of staring with wide eyes at his pained expression and closed off body language, you nodded. Slight at first, before doing it again with a clear affirmative answer.

"Yeah..... Yeah sure. We can do it just this once." You say quietly, eyes going half lidded. You felt like crying, but you can't. You felt like a dried up well, incapable to releasing just how much you're currently feeling at the moment. "C'mere." You prompted, reaching a hand over to him.

He takes a little while to comply, moving on all fours to crawl over to your side of the couch. You carefully run your hand through the side of his head, before travelling to the back and down the nape of his neck. You could see yourself in his reflection, and you're very well aware of the tired quality of your eyes. Dark eye bags and foul appearance. He's got other hands supporting him up by resting on either side of your torso, effectively trapping you in place. You have no intention of running away from this anyway. You can set your own feelings aside to comfort someone else.

The two of you are close enough to be able to hear each other's low breathing. The last time you were this close to him, close enough to see his freckles just beneath his shades, was when you woke up in bed next to him. You both hesitate in making the first move, so you decide to take the lead for now, and place a kiss over the other's lips. Breathless and light. You've got both hands cupping his cheeks, and when you pull away, you can clearly see the pained crease of his forehead and his attempt at trying not to completely break down.

You kiss him again, and again, and again. The corner of his lips, his cheeks, all very light and barely there. He's slowly responding, slithering his arms underneath you and wrapping his arms around your back.

The next time you pull away, there was a moment where you both simply looked at each other, before this time, he initiates the kiss, being much more forward and aggressive than you were. He gives you a real kiss, and not just the pecks you've been giving him. You close your eyes tightly, following the movement of his lips against yours and the overwhelming warmth you feel. His lips are a bit chapped and you run your tongue across it for a moment, before he obligingly opens his mouth and the kiss gets just a little deeper than you expected.

You let it happen, a strong sensation pulling at you chest and compelling you to bring him closer to you. You run your hands through his hair and mess it up. Pull at his shirt before hugging him closely back.

Humans are so soft. So delicate. Their skin, their tongue, their hair. Even their feelings. They're delicate creatures.

Everything you are not.


	11. Important Notice

I'm sorry but the updates might be really fucking delayed this time. Shit came up and my current situation really can't put me in a mood to write about teenage boys and their struggles in love. If you're reading 'It's not stalking dumbass', the same goes for that one. Hold tight guys.


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